Real Estate News In The Magic City

Kicking a little....

2012-01-24T17:33:00.001-05:00

Real Estate butt!

We don't like to brag on this site but every once in a while we get hyped when we do our job well.

So since we don't have an "Abuelita", we'll pat ourselves in the back today

Last year we closed over 90 transactions and by the looks of things, we should go over a 100 this year.

5 pending Sales already and 3 closed, not bad for an old guy and his niece.

Thanks for the trust, we may lay low but you want us on your side.....more on this later.

BTW; we need listings..........

We Have to STOP!!!!!

2012-01-19T11:05:00.001-05:00

Ok fellow Realtors, we have to stop the madness of taking listings at the "Sellers" recommended price.

I know the market is tight but......WTF, a couple of days ago we get these two beauties in Coconut Grove!

2300 sq ft at 1.1mil........470 a ft and 2300 sq ft at 360k..........165 a ft?

One is a psycho Owner, the other a psycho Bank, we have got to stop this.

BTW; Next post is going to be a bit insulting to some (gee what a surprise) but it goes to the 165 a ft list price.

It will be title "Compromising the social filter".............

Open today

2012-01-16T07:00:00.000-05:00

Picking up on yesterday's post.

We had even more calls then the 12 showings set and the PRO'S worked the open.

Thanks again, we added 8 other showings where the agent/customers adjusted.

Good job kids.

12 for 12!

2012-01-14T17:25:00.001-05:00

To all the Realtor's that set up appointments today, a HUGE THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

12 appointments, 12 "ON TIME" showings.

Thank you, you all PRO'S and your customer's should know it.

Great job!

Now......let's see some offers!
J

Casa Caliente!!!

2012-01-12T13:11:00.002-05:00

No really, this is a HOT house!

Not like in "Wow, this listing is smoking and we had 20 people at the open" hot.

More like "Wow, this house is smoking cause it's on fire" hot.

Doing a showing today and the owner/agent is showing one of her "legal" efficiencies and when we get back inside, someone had forgot to turn off the stove with a pan of oil on it.

Oil and Heat= Mucho Smoke

Mucho Smoke= no need to legalize the efficiencies.....

Zoom, Zoom!

2012-01-10T13:26:00.000-05:00

Yesterday afternoon was beautiful and I had some late showings.........so I busted out the "El Bello", better known as my scooter.

So I'm cruising down Bayshore Dr in the Grove when out of nowhere (not really, just Mary St) another Scooter cuts me off.

Well this being Miami, I did what every self respecting Miamiam would do........I hit the breaks!

Then we started jocking for position at the light and for a moment there was engine revving, intimidating stares and laughter from inside all the cars.

Yep, this was going down....

Down as in a Scooter drag race.

Light changed and away we went, speeding at 17 MPH...

Lasted about 5 seconds, as my challenger noticing my 150cc's under my butt gave up and made a left hand turn (again not really, he was going to the bank).

Feeling victorious, I confidently went to my showings and got the sale.

That's how we roll in the 305!

How lame.............

12 mil....

2012-01-05T15:17:00.001-05:00

Just does not buy you what you want.

It's good to be the Queen....

Long Pants.....

2012-01-05T10:56:00.003-05:00

HUH?

That was the topic de jour yesterday at all my showings, fellow Realtors were surprised to see me in long pants and closed shoes (I do owned them, just choose not to wear them).

So you don't need a weather hottie to tell you how cold it is outside.

Jav in long pants = under 55 degrees.

And you thought we only predicted Hurricanes!

Donde Esta Casa's?

2012-01-04T11:54:00.000-05:00

Happy 2012!

Now get it in gear and list your home for Sale/Rent!

Pronto!

Several months ago I did a little blog post on Trulia about the shortage of listings in Coconut Grove and yesterday I was reminded of it.

Had a couple of repeat showings and one customer asked the magic questions"where are all the new listings?"

And I explained that we are back to the olden days of Real Estate where you sold for other reasons then profit (should have seen the "deer in the headlight" look I got)

We have taken for granted that selling real estate is not an everyday occurrence, it's not a retail store where you continuously get new merchandise from China/India/Malaysia and Hialeah that's ready to sell (or steal).

So Buyers, get ready for limited inventory and Seller's, no prices will not go up 100% a month.

Now all we need is some Lender cojones and we'll all be good.

Welcome back to normal.......how we missed you.

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T00:00:00.000-05:00

Hi,
If this is the first time visiting this site; well let me take a moment to give you an overview.

The site is broken down into three parts;

1) Jav's Blog (what you are reading); Here I just try and give you a feel for what we go through as Full time Real Estate agents. It's all the crazy, funny, frustrating stuff that we have to deal with every day in this job.

I have been writing this for over 5 years and all, yes all of it is true...

2) MMC Recap; you'll find this on the left of the home page and here I will deal with more statistical stuff; (even though I'm not a big stat guy), I'll update the local markets and trends that I see coming.

Right now it's about how a real estate ad evolves, 2012 predictions to follow (it will be very easy to predict)

3) Home Page Header; This will have several drop down menus that feature the steps involved in Buying, Selling and Leasing a home. You'll also find search links and a list of vendors that could help you with your home.

I created the site about 6 years ago and it was the first to not ask for a sign in to look at properties, offer a list of vendors that you could shop at your convenience and I try not to be self promoting.

So enjoy, I have a lot of fun writing it and I hope you find it informative.

Javier

Happy Birthday to Me!

2011-12-30T13:11:00.000-05:00

Finally hit the big 50 and this is what I got for it.....

After a very pleasant day of doing "Javi stuff", I get a late call to do a quick showing and as an active full time agent, I do my best and schedule it.

I give the agent the whole story on the property prior to the showing; BTW it's the same one that did not appraise.

Get to the home, open it up and once the agent gets there and without even her customers seeing it starts questioning the price (did'nt we have this conversation?) she go off that's it's overprice and that it needs work and that there are other homes in the hood that are better and all sorts of other crap...

Well dear agent, the property is listed at 429.0 and had a contract at 425.0 and with a lousy appraisal it came in at 405.0 which means it is not over priced.

Agent would not hear any of it and kept going on about another property that was updated and BLAH, BLAH, BALH....

Now a side note; I know that other property better than Ms. Know it all because it was my listing and I HAD SOLD IT TO THE CURRENT OWNER!

I pointed out some of the differences but Ms.Know it all would not have any of it.

So, why give me all this grief?

Just go and buy the damn better house will you; oh no you can't cause it's under contract (guess she did not know that) Ms Know it all.

Please retire, you just wasted 30 minutes of my life that I will never get back and on my birthday to boot.

MRI's

2011-12-29T12:58:00.000-05:00

Are wierd and they involve bad music.

Crap Shoot!

2011-12-27T09:12:00.000-05:00

Snake eyes?

Nah, just another appraiser who is afraid to lose their Lender's rotation and a paycheck.

Here we go with another 'Kitty Kat" story and this one is just as sad.

I have a listing in South Grove, it's a 3/2 with a Garage on a nice deep lot; it's in original interior condition BUT has a New Roof, New Trane A/C unit, New Electrical Panel, New Garage door, New Solar Water Heater, Termite Warranty and re finished hardwood floors.

Under contract at 425.0 and everyone is happy.

Cool?

Good, now follow along and see why I feel that appraisers are continuously F@#$% up deals when they can easily make them happen.

Appraisal comes back at 405.0 and I get to look at the Comps and the fun begins.

If you know ANYTHING about the Grove, it's that there is NOTHING for sale under 400 grand that's worth a looking at especially in South Grove.

So I get the Appraisal and look it over and notice that the 3 comps chosen I know VERY well (I have been in ALL of them and know more then I should about them).

The appraiser adjust down on 2 of them 30k for "interior condition", OK, I'm cool with that but why not adjust up for property flaws such as;

Master bedroom in one is outside, just imagine; "Hon, I'm going to bed" OK, just lock the door behind you.

How about having to walk through a bedroom to get to your master?

How about the encroachments that the property has?

How about that one of them is on a Highway?

How about using the other comp that was noted but the appraiser did not choose BUT would have given them the 425.0 needed.

How about that the appraiser took incorrect pictures of properties, had missing information and a couple of other incorrect facts?

You get the picture and when I challenge the Lender, there comment is "well you should have pointed out this insight at the appraisal"

HUH?

I have no clue which properties they will use UNTIL I see the appraisal; isn't that what I just did?

Look kids, I can find 20-30k ON any property if needed, hell I can find 20k on the lot size alone.

20k is not that big a deal, if it was a 100-150k, I can see the scrutiny but 20K....Please

Here's a niffty thought; let the Listing/Buyers agent have the ability to question the apprisal once issued, and not have the lender/underwriter just blow it off.

Very frustrating.

So Doc...

2011-12-23T08:54:00.000-05:00

What do you think?

First some history.

A couple of weeks back I was at a property that I had leased to a nice young couple and we were doing a pre move in walkthru (this is when we make sure all the stuff that was promised in the lease is there/done) and as I was doing my thing the Tenant noticed that I was limping.

He asked me what was wrong and I explained that I was training for the Marathon and was adding miles and my hip hurt like hell and so forth when he said "you know I'm an Orthopedic Surgeon" and I said "yeah, and I'm a Realtor" (we're a bit touchy on the collage thing)......not really.

I said "Cool, can you tell me what the hell is wrong with me?"

He gave me a quick look, asked if I had insurance (not really again, I kid cause I love) and said that I should go see him.

Which brings us to today;

After a thorough examination; which included several offical looking X-ray's, my Collage Graduated Orthopedic Surgeon proclaimed "Jav, I have no clue what the hell is wrong with you"

(You ain't the only one who thinks that)

So, I now have an MRI in my near future.

This turning 50 blows!

Picture this......

2011-12-20T08:35:00.000-05:00

"Hi, Ana this is officer so and so and I have your Husband........"

That's how the phone call started yesterday morning, when after 8 miles into a 12 mile run I blew up or should I say my leg gave out and I had to stop running.

Riley and I had made it over the Key Biscayne Bridge and were heading back over same bridge when he noticed a faint whimpering coming from his running partner; he looked over to see me limping along.

We got to Alice Wainwright Park and I told him I could not run any further and we needed to call for pick up.

Well if you are familiar with this park (which sits on Biscayne Bay) it tends to be a bit on the seedy side (which is why we love it) and between the Hoop Rats, the homeless dudes BBQing and hipsters hanging out phone choices are limited BUT there is always a police office in the area and today was no different.

I limped up to said officer and asked if she would call my wife or at least I think I said that....

I actually said "Hi, could you call someone for me" which got a raised eyebrow from her as by the way I looked and sounded she probably thought I had been shot (which if I was a Horse, I would have been!)

I quickly regrouped and explain my situation and she made the call.

Fortunately Ana has a strong heart and was close by to pick us up.

Oh, did I mention we had a little surprise party planned?

Real Estate post? You'll see in a bit.

SURPRISE PART 2!

2011-12-19T08:12:00.000-05:00

How about this (and don't try this at home, we are professionals) 2 Birthday Surprise parties back to back?

So after yesterdays cooking blow out you figured we'd be done for the weekend?

Not us, while I was turning 50, Erica was turning 30 and much to her surprise we had an evil plan for her.

On the ruse of going out to dinner just the three of us we picked her up at her place, forgot her gift at our place and had her go in to get said gift, when out from the Christmas tree all her Family and Friends yelled "Surprise" or something to that effect....I was in the car.

Highlights of this party?

Let's just say it was "THE VORTEX"; for those in attendance......you know what I'm talking about.

On a side note, you all know that Erica and I work together so we both planned each others surprise parties without each other knowing; how's that for communication!

BTW; Need to keep a secret while selling a home?....we can.

SURPRISE!

2011-12-18T18:00:00.000-05:00

To me!

Under the guise that I was going to a Saks lunch with the wife; I grudgingly put on pants, a nice shirt and shoes (yes I own a pair) and looked forward to free booze.

Not so fast there Jav.

When we got to Ortanigue's in the Gables, much to my surprise there were lots of folks I know waiting for me.....and to be fed.

They said they were there for me to celebrate my birthday BUT I KNOW all these folks; they were there for the free food/booze and to cook (Iron Chef style) with Cindy Hutson.

Highlights of the afternoon;

A childhood Friend (who I had not seen in forever) made a great ceviche.
A Friend seared some great scallops
My baking skills were showcased and I promptly lost the baking part of the competition.
A Friend who will come down for any party got locked out of my beach apt (I had the key)
My Brother can drink lots of beer with a straw (not recommended).

AND No one won the contest, general consensus was that we SUCK at cooking and should keep our day jobs.

Why a Real Estate Post?

Cause before the "lunch" I had a home inspection and after the "party" I had a showing.

Never a dull day in the Magic City.....as the next post will point out.....stay tuned.

Thank you Hon, you got me; never had a clue.

Introducing!!!

2011-12-13T08:10:00.002-05:00

Our new yard signs.

We always try to be unique in our business; from our casual, relax style (way before it was fashionable), to our website that never requested a sign in and our blog that sheds light on what we do every day in this crazy gig; these types of ideas set us apart in the industry.

While others keep doing the same old, same old (and look it), we try and anticipate what's heading our (your) way.

So to all of our customers, thanks for for your trust and continued support.

More cool stuff to come in 2012!

Jav

BTW; Happy "82" Mom!

A Garden Grows

2011-12-10T14:14:00.000-05:00

All I can say is that my Third Grade class at Coconut Grove Elementary rocks!!!!
Take a look at their garden (it's better then the 5th grade's), these kids have a real green thumb!

Trulia....

2011-12-09T08:14:00.001-05:00

If you follow this blog (first thank you, second we need to talk....), you may have noticed that I have a "love/hate" relationship with the Trulia website (Zillow too).

It stems from the fact that they "sell" our listings to other agents if you do not sign up for one of their Realtor programs (very slimy if you ask me), but enough of that the real reason for this post.

One of Trulia's gimmicks is they allow "customers" to post questions for us Real Estate professionals to answer. I would say that 75% of the ones we see make absolutely no sense but every once in a while you get a classic.....and these are the ones I reply to.

Follow this link, start with the question, look at the pictures and have a nice laugh.

BTW; 2 thumbs up for the kid!

December 2004!

2011-12-01T12:02:00.001-05:00

This time of year brings out the "Start a New" in me and yesterday we started "a newing" and came across some old ad's from way back when. (note to other Realtors, you may want to take new photo's) and for gigles we are going to run some of them on the site in the next couple of months.

The One on your left was run as a "Holiday Thank You" done in December 2004.

I chose the front door of several homes that I had sold that year, the concept (even back then) was that I sold/listed everywhere in Miami-Dade and you could count on us to be there for you.

Well several years and lot's of doors later we are still selling Miami-Dade (Number 1 Remax team) and we are still here for all of our customers.

So a big "THANK YOU", lots of good stuff coming in 2012.

BTW; I will tell each doors story this month, a couple of really funny ones.....starting with Silver Bluff.

Really?

2011-11-25T13:00:00.000-05:00

Have a new rental listing over in Silver Bluff and once we put it in the MLS it goes viral and ends up on Zillow.

Get a request from a customer that they want to see it, we call back to set appointment and this and I quote was the customers reply.

"Call me back tomorrow, I'm getting drunk today"

Really......

Man I love this job!

SUV?

2011-11-25T11:43:00.000-05:00

Holiday tradition in the Gonzalez household entails taking my MIL out to pick a Christmas tree (not a Holiday tree) after Thanksgiving day.

We head over to the Boys Club on 32nd Ave where one of my Golf buddies runs the place and he always "hooks us up" with a special tree (which still cost 120 bucks). He gets a helper to cut and wrap it up in that annoying plastic interlocking twine thingy (which is a PIA to cut) and loads it on to the car.

Always love to see the expression of the helper when he learns that the car is not an SUV nor a pick up but a nice little convertible.....

BTW; if you ever decide to buy a car that has been previously leased, forget Car Fax, ask if I had the previous lease and if I did........DON'T Buy it!

Feeling Nostalgic...

2011-11-08T12:59:00.001-05:00

So I'm going to turn 50 soon and last night I felt like was eleven again (yes, I know I can still act like that sometimes).

I had finished a easy run with Riley and as I hopped on my bike to ride home and it hit me; I had done this before years ago.

Growing up in North Grove (Secoffee St), we kids had the run of the place.

Always outside running around playing a serious game of hide and seek (no boundary limits) or on our bikes jumping ramps or playing chase and as dusk rolled around we would get the "time to come in kids" call; we would laugh and play a bit more. I would then get on my bike and ride home with the shadows of the large oaks engulfing me as I were entering a dark cave.

Last night brought back those memories as I rode my bike back home in the cool Coconut Grove breeze.

Ah, to be eleven again....

Aguazeros

2011-10-31T16:34:00.000-04:00

Or "Water Zeros" as we like to call them in the 305.

If you have not been hanging out in the Magic City the last couple of weeks, well you have missed some serious "Palmetto Pounders" as it has Rained like hell.

Last night in Coconut Grove it was brutal with even the Frogs looking for shelter.

Marry Christmas park looked like the Everglades (saw egrets and maybe even an Alligator in there...)

Unfortunately the heavy rains also brought out all the roofers in their living glory, so along with the normal weekday traffic we got a lot of pick ups with 20ft ladders in back; let the claims begin!

Rain, Rain go away.......please.

Coconut Grove Farm!

2011-10-28T08:29:00.000-04:00

Ok, not really a farm but a Super Garden from the best third grade class ever!!!!

The kids at Coconut Grove Elementary really have a green thumb (and probably lots of other colors as they do a lot of finger painting), can't wait to taste the bounty of our (their) labor.....

Found One!

2011-10-26T15:41:00.000-04:00

On your left is our new weekly "menu" board.

After an extensive search of about 2 minutes (hey I'm a busy Dude) on the internets, I was able to download it, manipulate it and post it. (I'm sure Microsoft will be calling soon)

As explained on a previous post, each week we will look a section of Miami (The Magic City) and update that area/section with real Real Estate info....or at least what I think is real.

If you follow my site/blog you should have realized by now that I think Real Estate is pretty much about Location and the Folks who Buy / Sell it and not about the product that they buy and sell.

Product is the same everywhere, some pretty, some not but at the end of the day it's concrete/wood and lots of shiny stuff....and apples to apples all that stuff cost the same.

So enjoy the Stats (they mean nothing) and pretty pictures and rest assured that if you like the Home you are purchasing you are pretty much over paying......it's just the way it is.

It never fails

2011-10-26T15:06:00.000-04:00

We Super Realtors who have loads of Listings invite other Realtors to visit our Listings every Wednesday in a tradition know as "Feed me or I will not show up" Open House....

No really it's called "Broker Opens" and if you are from the olden days before the Inter nets/web, it was called "Caravaning".

Any hoo, it never fails that you plan for these opens, get some food, send out fliers and as soon as you hang the Open sign and unlock the door.........this guy shows up to clean the pool!

Dig the socks.....

Oh and you can also count on the gardeners showing up and using one of those obnoxisous gas powered leaf blowers to blow leaves/dust/small rodents all over the place.

Lunch anyone?

October 16th....

2011-10-16T14:52:00.000-04:00

And I see this at the local hardware store......

WTF?

We have yet to dress like a Slutty Nurse/Doctor/Police Officer/Maid/Pirate/ETC for Halloween, we have yet to Fry/Bake/Brine/Saute our Thanksgiving day Turkey....

AND They have already set up Christmas?

This is just wrong in so many ways........Bah Humbug.

Talk about.....

2011-10-05T08:29:00.000-04:00

I want to SELL!

Last night I was out with a Client showing properties and came to a Sale by Owner (FSBO) but listed on the MLS by some site no ones ever heard of and the Seller has to do the showing (I actually know the seller very well) and She had the best sales technique that I have ever seen in Real Estate.

While showing, She followed us around with a 'PACKED" suitcase!

Now THAT is a motivated Seller!

Open House Therapy?

2011-09-26T15:54:00.002-04:00

No, not as in "Open Houses give me a sense of purpose" or "Gee, how tranquil since no one’s come in" or “I could really use some sleep”…..No, I'm talking REAL therapy.

Those of us who do Open Houses for our customers, we are well aware that every person coming in has their own reason to stop by.

Some are Nosey
Some are Bored
Some are Nosey and Bored....

But the best are past Clients who come by to say "Hi" and see how we are doing...(they really care about us!)

Had one stop in yesterday and he was complaining about his IT Band; Well since I am an Expert on this topic, I promptly began to show him stretches and how to loosen it.

I then explained that at the end of the day it was not going to be his IT Band but his Gluteus Maximus (Butt) needed strengthening and that he should buy a foam roller and maggage his tuckes.

Well he was quite impressed with my knowledge and felt compelled to get his Wife out of the car and show her all his new stretches.

She came in and LOVED the home and they are now thinking about placing an offer.

See what a little Butt massage will accomplish!

No Vacancies part 2..

2011-09-22T18:12:00.001-04:00

So Remember the "Indian...native American...Sitting Bull statue that we needed to evict?

Most Folks would wait for a "Writ of Possession" BUT not us; We Call in these guys!!!!!!!

If you can't read Spanish (well first why not?) get someone who does to translate, this is a Classic "Only in Miami" moment.

New Stuff....

2011-09-21T09:00:00.000-04:00

Year's ago when I created my Website, I swore that it would always be different then the typical Realtor Site.
I never wanted it to be a "Hey I'm the greatest (even though we are), kinda of Site"
Did not want you to have to "sign in" or "register" to view it.
I wanted it to read like you were actually speaking with someone (me) that you could relate to.

That's how I Structured and Wrote it; Yes, I did write my site and Yes, I do write my blog.....hell , no one else would want to!

When I started in this Gig I said to myself "Self, do this your way, don't follow the traditional Real estate models"

So I did.

And what I came up with, folks in the business said "What a Nut" and lots of other stuff (nice legs) and years later, lots of those same folks are now "Casual", "Relaxed" "Stressfree"

Well, here I go again....try to keep up kiddies.

To your left is a new/permanent feature title "This Weeks Menu" and will feature different areas of the Magic City. Each week we'll pick two areas and update them for you, from Real Estate info to Community going ons.

So take a look, read and enjoy....

Farmer Jav.

2011-09-20T15:08:00.000-04:00

Sort of.

Let's just say I'm the "Dough" behind this little farming endeavor.

Couple of weeks ago I saw a post where the Kids at Coconut Grove Elementary were starting a garden and each class needed some "Seed" money.

Well Growing up in the Grove in the 60's/70's , I wanted to see what these young Grovite's needed the dough for........In my day, "Seed Money" meant a WHOLE different thing!

It appears that it is for a better cause then ours; each Class has planted a Garden and they will take care of it thru the school year.

My Class is the Third Grade (ahh, I remember it like it was yesterday, walking my Girlfriend (Donna) down the street from school to her pad) and I am very proud of them.

Now we'll have to see what they Grow......

No Vacancies?

2011-08-29T17:52:00.001-04:00

So, I'm pretty sure this does not happen to all those "fancy pants" Realtors out there who only do high end stuff BUT since we roll in all levels of the Real Estate spectrum, here's a fun true story.

It was another perfect August day in the Magic City (perfect "as it was hot and raining like hell") when we got the call.

Investor Dude; "Hey there is a Indian on the porch"

Us; "Native America"

ID; "No, trust me it's an Indian"

Us; "Dude, you can't call them that anymore"

ID; "Ok, then there is a "Native American" in the foreclosure we are buying.

Us; "That's better, What he doing"?

ID; "Sitting"

Us; "Sitting Bull..Ha (we crack ourselves up)"

ID; "Funny but there are also two "Santero's" cooking in the backyard"

Us; "Ok now this is getting interesting; we have an Indian (statue) on the porch, Santero's in the back yard, anything else.

ID; " And an illegal electrical/water hook up"

Us; "No roosters?"

ID; "I think that's what they are cooking"

Us; "Cool, Arroz con Gallo or maybe Gallo Pinto?" (I could do this all day)

ID; "No really, what do we do"

Us; "We call in the "Calvary"

ID; "Great now it's Cowboys and Indians"

Us; "Nope, Cops Vs Santero's in an Illegal Lease Dispute"

ID; "Huh"

And now Kiddies, its why we make the big bucks.

To be continued.......

Watson are you there?

2011-08-26T19:13:00.002-04:00

Apparently he was but ATT was not!

Wow, what a cluster#$%^. today (I even went 2G), starting around 11am, it all went silent.

Lots of "call failed" and "sorry but your call cannot be completed" to "Hey, my phone blows"!

I remember when Ma Bell ruled, now I'm getting text's from Sprint, T mobile and "Russian phones"...

Come on ATT, man up!

To all, I am sorry that I have not been ......"please hold for the next available...."

One Billion part 2...

2011-08-26T10:17:00.000-04:00

After several days on the market with no interest at the asking price of $1,5000,000,000.00 the Sellers reduced to $1,150,000.00

Now that is a Price Reduction!

Speaking of price reductions.

Sellers, please don't reduce your listings by 5, 10k a pop.

If you are finally going to make the move, reduce in 50k increments, this will make a statement with the way Buyers search for properties.

Most search in 100k spreads so a 5/10k reduction keeps you in the same search spread.

Talk with your listing agent, they can show you what I mean.

ONE BILLION!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-08-23T10:08:00.003-04:00

At last, one Grove house has hit the big time!

Talk about price appreciation; Zillons of dollars in a single day!

Take a look at an actual "MLS History" on this new listing.

A1541564 $ 1,500,000,000 08/23/11

A1541564 $ 150,000,000 08/23/11

A1541564 $ 15,000,000 08/23/11

Think someone got a little crazy with the zero's....

G.W.P

2011-08-23T09:01:00.000-04:00

"Gift with Purchase" for the un informed....or those who never worked retail.

I got one yesterday, actually it was even better; I did not buy anything and still got one.

"How is this possible old wise one" you ask?

Sold a place (huge home in the Grove) and we were doing inspections (place in good shape) and we found a secret room (not really secret, we did not have a key earlier) and inside was all sorts of stuff ( like the urban legend about all the cars in a barn).

Well this one had a Trek ladies bike (and some skies) and since Ana does not have a bike (there is a reason for this)....well I asked and the Seller gave it to me.

After a little TLC and some air, good as new.....now the fun begins.

Ever seen my wife ride a bike?

Scary....

I'm not liking....

2011-08-21T14:03:00.001-04:00

Irene!

The current track is not good at all, this is the track I hate; these little buggers starting low and coming at us from below....no likey!

Keep an eye on this one kiddies.....

Muy Caliente!

2011-08-16T14:04:00.001-04:00

OK, years ago I was on Scarborough Country (now Morning Joe on MSNBC) chatting about Hurricanes.

This was after the 05' barrage and I was asked to participate in this "special edition".

Below is the actual transcript of the conversation (My editorial comments in italics).

The Lead in;

Famous News Personality; "Never before have so many people lived in such vulnerable places, where many have hardly recovered from last hurricane season. But sun and surf keep realtor Javier Gonzalez (ME) here. He and his wife just bought an ocean-front condo." (In the height of the market, what a boob)

Me; And (I start with a conjunction because I was signing a Jimmy Buffett tune before, true story) you know that you‘re going to have to deal with some hurricanes. And you‘re going to have to deal with, you know, the kinds of things that they bring. (Like hysterical weather people) But at the same time, you get this 365 days of the year, (clear blue skies) and you‘re going to get maybe one or two bad weeks. (And that's what this post is about!)

The 1-2 bad weeks comment is not about hurricanes, it's about what is happening now....August!

It's Hot!
It's Wet!
It's Moldy!
It's Cheap Tourist season!

Add to the above; Skeeters, Bofo's and Alien Mushrooms.....and all of a sudden a Hurricane doesn’t look so scary.

August in the Magic city BLOWS (and not in a good way).

Told ya...

2011-08-06T08:50:00.000-04:00

Notice how Emily went away late Thursday?

That's right, I'm back after a week in the Big Apple.

Lots of things to post and on Monday I'll have my second installment in "Jav's Seen it", also will start posting Q/A that I get everyday from Customers.

And prepare for a new Rant on Lenders!!!

Have a nice weekend and again you are welcome.

Don't Worry....

2011-08-02T08:41:00.001-04:00

I'll be back in town prior to the storm, so it won't hit us.

Sorry, had to go to NY for a couple of days......and you all know what happens when I go anywhere on Vacation.

Yep, we have a little deperession out there in the good old Atlantic!

(Notice how it turns on Friday? that's when I'm back......You are welcome!)

What the Blog 2....

2011-07-29T15:47:00.003-04:00

So after realizing that I had said “yes” to teaching a Blogging class to my fellow REMAX associates, the PTB had no choice but to schedule a date; which was this past Tuesday.

Class went something like this:

Hey anyone want coffee?

Cell phone rings and everyone looks at theirs, 1 person leaves the room….

Sure, got any doughnuts?

Another phone rings again, another one bites the dust….

Hey what about the doughnuts?

No doughnuts.

This class blows….

OK, so now I’m standing in front of a big white board (anyone who knows me knows I LOVE white boards) and riting (without spell check) and imparting all sorts of interesting, witty and informative blog stuff to the class.

Or so I thought.

What I was actually doing was setting back the art of blogging for at least …I don’t know, let’s say 10 years (stay with me kids).

After I had dazzled them with my vast knowledge of nothing, we had a Q & A and Folks started asking all sorts of difficult questions involving “tracking and hits and capturing and a bunch of other Internets stuff”, which my reply was “HUH”, then I did what all good teachers do………I threw my eraser at them.

So if in the next couple of weeks you start to see these topics on Realtors Blogs/Websites:

Dead Hair

Why do motorcycles have windshields?

How big a boat

Canine CSI

Who needs shoes?

Or for that matter underwear….

You are welcome!!!!

What the Blog

2011-07-28T15:09:00.003-04:00

Every so often the "Powers That Be" (PTB) at REMAX, (in what I consider their way of humoring me) ask me to teach my fellow Realtor‘s something.

They will approach me and ask, “Hey Jav, in the mood to set back the conventional wisdom of Real Estate 50 years or so?”

Me; “Sure, been a while”

PTB; “What do you want to teach?”

Me; “No Clue, what you thinking?

PTB; “Don’t know, any ideas?”

Me; “Nope”

PTB; “Nothing?”

Me; “Nada”

And this goes on for a bit longer, as they do not want to be responsible for yet another “You sure you want him to teach that to our associates?” Conversation.

Finally and with much remorse later they blurt out “How about teaching a Blog class?”

Which I promptly reply “you guys read my Blog?”

PTB; “Of course”

Me; "Really"

PTB; "Really"

Me; “Lately?”

PTB with nervous looks “Ah not really, Why?”

Me; “OK, so when’s the class?”

PTB’s walking away and in a low voice……”told ya”....and they start having "THE" conversation

To be continued…….

What a weekend!

2011-07-25T15:16:00.004-04:00

It was hot as hell outside but our office was also "Muy Caliente".

Don't know what happened (must be the heat) but it seemed like everyone in the South Grove called me to list properties this past weekend.

All sorts of homes; some big, some small, some with pools, some with room for pools, some with all sorts of extras, some plain Jane/John.

Right about now every year I get the "Holy Hell, it's hot and the Hurricanes are on the way and wouldn't be a great time to get as far away as possible from Miami" listing calls.

It's exciting, I go to a ton of Listing presentations (mine are special and worth a call just for the insight), meet new folks and promptly crush all of there $$$$ dreams.

Oh well, It must be the Heat.....

BTW; Welcome New Member that was brave enough to sign up (they never learn)......as to the rest of you who read this and are on the DL, come on take the jump....

Dead Hair!

2011-07-20T17:14:00.000-04:00

Ok, so how come when I cut my hair (or style it...whatever), the first thing they do is take me over to what looks like an elevated Bidet and do the following:

Place a towel around my neck, sit me down in a chair and begin to THOROUGHLY wash my hair?

I mean they go full out; they start with Shampoo and then they rinse it out and then they work in some Conditioner and massage my hair and Scalp and every once in a while my neck (I think the Shampoo Girl is taking advantage of me) and all for what?

All that they are gonna do is CUT OFF all of this Clean, conditioned, massaged happy hair!

Wouldn't you do this afterward or is this some type of "Hair" last wish thing?

I don't know, just seems wrong.

How big a boat?

2011-07-15T17:56:00.069-04:00

Every once in a while I'll get these calls, they start out something like this and I love to play along:

Yachtsman (more on this later) "Hi, I was looking on the internets' and came across your name and you seem to be pretty sharp and know all sorts of stuff about Real Estate"

Yep, that's me "Mr know it all" (guy must really know me well)

YM; "Well I'm looking for waterfront home in Miami where I can put my boat"

Me; "Ok, lets see are we looking for Condo or Single Family?"

YM; "Doesn't matter, just need dock space for my boat; I'm going to do the Islands"

Me; "Alright, so how much dockage do you need (and here I show off my vast knowledge of things Nautical and bust out the sailing lingo, dropping all sorts of "west marine" terms).
Open Fish, Crusier, tuna tower, how much do you draw, in's or outs..etc (BTW all of these are legitimate questions as I am trying to ascertain the Yachtsman's needs and what type of water front he can use).

I don't want to assume anything, so I ask a generic boat question.

Me again; "So what are we looking at, something like a 30' open fish?"

YM; "Oh No, its at least 100ft, I want to cruise the Islands"

Me (under my breath); "Holy Shit"

Me Again; "Well then we are going to need open water and single family"

Me; "What kind of "Yacht" do you own? (more boat lingo)"

YM; "Oh I don't own one yet, I'm in the market for one"

So we are looking for a home (that you don't own) for a Boat (that you don't own)....

And now the real fun begins.........

Me; "So you don't have the boat now?"

YM; "No, do you know anybody that sells them"

Now I'm also in the boat business.

ME; "I hear Tiger Woods might want to unload his."

YM; "Huh"

Now you just know how this is going to end cause as of now I have not asked the magic question out of genuine "Miami" courtesy......But now I have to go for the gold.

Me; "So, what price range you looking at?"

YM; "Max 200k"

Me; "For the dock rental right"

YM; "Huh"

Me; "I'm sorry, your breaking up on me.....and I start to make crackling sounds into my phone"

Moral of the story?

I answer my phone and chat with folks even when I know the ending....feel free to give me a call!

I give up....

2011-07-14T12:56:00.001-04:00

Since my last encounter with PNT, I have decided that I am not returning to sports therapy and after serious consideration, I have realized that the original Orthopaedic Dude was correct......I'm just old!

So in typical Male Cuban hardheadedness I have decided to "Self Medicate" and begin a series of exercises to strengthen my Hip/Butt regions.....

Not really, after hearing me bitch about the pain, PNT gave me 2 green bands, a paper with some exercise routines and told me to grow a pair....whatever that means.

BTW; It's working, feeling lots better.

Hey I forgot.........

2011-07-12T10:14:00.000-04:00

My Palm Tree!

Another Classic in my long history of selling properties.

You all remember the Sellers Mom who decided to do laundry in the home AFTER they had closed on the home (read it here), well we had a first last week.

We close on a listing (forget that the sellers replaced the washer prior to closing) and all good until the Seller returns several days later with a Backhoe ready to go in backyard and remove a palm.

Really?
No Really?

What part of "Closed sale" did you miss there kiddo?

Fortunately we also had the Buyers side and were able to "Save the Palm" from relocation.

Never a dull day in My Magic City!

I T what?

2011-07-10T11:00:00.006-04:00

Day three of therapy and the grand realization!!!

After a couple of days running/working out, I head back in to the "Sports Clinic" with a new limp.

After the usual warm up, I mention that I have a new pain unrelated to the old pain that they gave me and it hurts like hell. They give me a quick "Feel" and determine that it's my Gluteus-maximus (medical term for my BUTT) and that they need to work on it (and not in a good way)

So again, PNT jumps on the table, begins to give me a wedgie and than literally "Kicks my Ass"

But the best is yet to come.

Afterward a young intern has the honor of lazering my new butt bruise; this is as close as a young girl has been to my butt in MANY years, I on the other hand am thrilled!!!

BTW; I think she took a picture and put it on her twitter account (or at least that's my story).

I T Band, part 2

2011-07-08T15:05:00.000-04:00

Not being one to give up easily, i return to the psycho ninja therapist (PNT) for another go.

Same MO; Table, stretch, heat, AHHHHH.

Again I regain Consciousness and PNT states "your loosening up"

I on the other hand hurt like hell

PNT; "see ya in a couple of days"

Me limping; "yeah, whatever"

To be continued.

Ouch!

2011-07-06T17:37:00.001-04:00

Ok, so now I need Therapy for my Sports Therapy!

So after checking in and meeting my sweet therapist (or so I thought), they assign you a padded table/bed and the therapy begins.

It starts out all nice and they give you a couple of stretching exercises and then some heat pads and they lull you into thinking "This is great, I get to lie down in the middle of the day and nap".

AND that's when it happens.

Out of no where (like a ninja) the sweet therapist goes PSYCHO and starts to beat the crap out of my "I T" Band.

I mean, she is literally standing on the table and pressing/elbowing (like Dusty Rhodes) and kneeing me. (and not in a good way) until I'm crying and begging for mercy.

After I regain consciousness, she smiles sweetly at me and states the obvious "Gee, you are tight"

No Shit, that's why I here.

Well now psycho ninja therapist recommends some home stretching, another appointment and sends me on my way..........limping.

To be continued.

I T Band...."on the run"...

2011-07-05T17:16:00.003-04:00

And it needs a drummer.

How does this relate to Real Estate you ask?

Well I need mine to be loose so that I can get out of my car to do showings, that's how!

What?

My IT band (something that runs from my butt to my knee) hurts like hell and gives me a limp like "The Duke" (John Wayne, for those of you born after the internets) and MUST be stretched, or so said my Orthopaedic dude.

BTW; this news was better then the last time when Orthopaedic dude told me "you are just OLD".

Well MUST = Physical Therapy with a "Sports Therapist" (Wow! now I'm an athlete.) so I get a prescription (did not know I needed one) and off I go.

To be continued..........

Something New!

2011-06-30T09:00:00.025-04:00

Folks ask me all the time "So Jav, what do you think is a good deal in such and such a place"

And I'll say something like this; "well you know such and such is quite large and it depends on what you are looking for, as there are many ways to look at such and such and......................ZZZZZZZZZ.

In an attempt and this will be just that, an attempt, I introduce to you "Jav's top 5 or 10 properties for such and such a place" and we'll do it as only we can. (easy fellow realtor's, you'll want to make this list).

What criteria am I using you ask?

Price?
Square Footage?
Layout?
Special Features?
Proximity to Amenities?
Hot, Famous Neighbors?

Yep, all that and the simple fact that I have actually seen the place.

Monica wants me to start in the Gables (cause she lives there), I say the Grove (my hood), Mike backs South Miami (his hood) and Erica says "is there a top 5 in shitkickers?"

So as a public service to all, we introduce "Jav's seen it" !!!!!!!!!

"Hey, did'nt you introduce it as "Jav's top 5 or 10" earlier in this blog post?

Yes, but I decided to change the name, it's my Blog and I will do as I please!

"Yeah, but why don't you just edit the post so that the name stays the same?"

Cause I don't know how.

"Try copy/paste Ienstine"

Oh we're going to start that again are we?

Now where was I before the editorials took over?

Ah yes, where to start "Jav's seen it"

After much deliberation we'll start in .................COCONUT GROVE!

Gee what a surprise................We'll just start next week.

Enjoy the Holiday, see ya after the 4th.

It pays to read this blog..

2011-06-24T10:44:00.000-04:00

If you are looking for a place; you'll see it here first!

3/2 with garage in South Grove for 449.0
New roof, AC, Electrical, wood floors.

Will need to update Kitchen but well worth the effort.

Nice lot (7300 sq ft) on a really quiet street.

So if you know anyone, have them call me.

And just because...

2011-06-23T14:31:00.000-04:00

Hot Pads has decided to join the "I can top that fraud on Trulia" bandwagon...

Check out this fabulous rental in South Grove.
4/3 plus den, 3000 sq ft, great location for ONLY 1400 bucks!

Just send some dough to some Nigerian Dude (Chaf is no longer scamming) and we'll send you keys.

Ha, I have the keys and I'm not in Nigeria!

I hate the internets......

But wait!

Chaf after getting bounced from Trulia has re appeared in Hot Pads, just check out is Fabulous new listing!

4/3 plus den, 3000 sq ft, great location for only 2150!

Chaf, dude the nigerian is way lower then you.......must be the cheap labor.

I hate NAFTA!

And not to be left out.........

2011-06-21T09:42:00.001-04:00

Trulia!

I had my little fun with Zillow the other day and apparently feeling "dissed", my boys at Trulia one upped them over the weekend.

It started as it always does with a breathless phone call that goes something like this.

"Hi, I'm really interested in the home you have in the Grove for rent, its a 4/3 and it looks beautiful and I have to have it and when can I see it and it looks great and I know that its really hard to find a good rental and ......." and by now since they have not taken a breath, they pass out and I have to wait for them to come back on the line.

Well since I don't have a 4/3 for rent in the Grove BUT I do have a 4/3 for sale, I immediately realize that the listing has been "Jacked" by some low life in another part of the world.

So I ask a simple question;

Me; "Where did you find such a wonderful home"

Breathless in Miami; " On my nifty, free mobile Real Estate app"

Me; "App?"

BIM; "yes, App"

Me; "Que es un App?"

BIM; "An app is something you down load from the Internet"

Me; "And"

BIM; but under their breath "it's something that makes me think I know more then you"

Me; " Can your little App give you any common sense?"

BIM; "Huh?"

Same old story that I've written about before, goes like this.

We input a listing, it goes all over the place "The Internet's" and some shuck claims it on some lame site at a reduced price and then some other not so lame site picks it up and before you know it it's on a legitimate site (legitimate as in soon looking for IPO $) and the consumer calls (in this case, some dude named Chaf) and is taken for a ride....or worst thousands of dollars.

I took 20 calls on this property over the weekend and I hope no one sent old Chaf any dough.

Old saying kids, if it looks to good to be true....you know the rest.

BTW; good for all the folks who at least came by and called off my sign to confirm old Chaf's story; you did the right thing.

Zillow...

2011-06-15T19:09:00.001-04:00

Bad month to be a bottom feeder in the Magic City.

For those who do not worship the Zillow "Zestimates" (first good for you) some background; this is a tool that "prices" residential real estate on it's website.

Most of the time (as in always) it's completely clueless and this week it really went were no site has gone before. If you were to take it seriously, we are in the mist of a HUGE pricing increase in the general hood!

Yep, time to party like it's 2006....one of my listings increased 200k in a month.

Thank you Zillow for again proving that you're clueless but thank you for at least starting to somehow get the numbers moving in the right direction.

Folks, I'll say it again and again...Real Estate is local and your home it's NOT an investment; It's were you live this crazy little thing called life.

Pool Heater?

2011-06-14T12:03:00.000-04:00

Heard a great "Inspection" story today on the semi weekly death run in the middle of the afternoon.

Inspector saw a propane tank at a home, noticed that at one time there was a pool heater attached to it and being a professional (non regulated) inspector, called the non existing pool heater as needing repair/replacement!

Huh?
Really, no really?

So that means that every home with a Garage, but no car in it has to have the seller put in a car?

I can't make this up, Classic!

Train Wrecks!

2011-06-09T15:24:00.002-04:00

Oh and how I love them!

What's a train wreck in my Gig you ask?

Well it involves several deals tied into one particular person (engine) where no one gets hurt (psychically).

This is a true story currently under production.

We have a Listing in Kendall and a Buyer sees it at a Sunday open house.
Buyer makes offer with us; we now have Buyer/Seller....oh how fun!

After offer, I find out that the Buyer is related to ANOTHER Buyer of mine looking in the Gables.

In the meantime, I have another Buyer making an offer on a home in another part of town.
Offer is accepted and The Seller hires me as their Buyers rep.

With me so far?

Ex Seller/ New Buyer likes a home in Pinecrest (yes I get around) and we are in the process of making an offer on that home.

So where you going with this Jav?

Well the Seller of the Pinecrest Home likes......you guessed it, my listing in Kendall.

I can already see the wheels coming off the tracks.

Oh and the Buyers in the Gables, what about them?

Some how I'm guessing they'll love a home in the Grove that I will be Listing and the whole story starts all over again..............God I love this GIG!

Oh and if you are keeping score....3 Sellers and 4 Buyers all in the same deal.

And Another....

2011-06-09T14:40:00.001-04:00

Over qualified person decides that Real Estate is not for them.

My new Admin (who was very good BTW) decided after a couple of weeks of seeing what we do every day, that....and I quote "you have to be f@#$%^& crazy to do this!"

And with that, she kissed me good bye and walked out the door never to be seen again.......well not really, like the hair club for men slogan.....she is also Client, so she keeps coming back.

She will also be staring in my next blog post titled "Train Wreck" and how I love them.

What now you ask? No, really ask?

I got down on my knees and begged Monica to do double duty, which prompted this reply "my chitlin is off for summer vacation and I cannot come in during the summer".

What 2 year kids can't take of themselves?

I remember when I was little I had to walk to school uphill in the snow both ways..........

Another....

2011-05-26T09:29:00.000-04:00

Over qualified person has joined our team; welcome Marili as our new Admin/closing coordinator.

After helping her buy (or not) a home, she was so impressed (or surprised that anyone can do this job) that she asked if I had an opening available....and lo behold I did.

I had been looking to add a position for quite sometime and it just felt right to make the move; so welcome Ms. New Admin, feel free to take over the office.....and all 4 Capricorns in it.

Now what happened to my previous over qualified Admin you may ask?

Monica is still very much with us but has gone over/back to the dark side and will be in charge of business development (She made up the title) and I have no idea what she will be doing.

I did hear say something about "getting us Out There" so I'm a bit nervous as to what she intends to do to get us "Out There".

So as the number 1 Remax Agents in Miami Dade (non distressed of course); look for us...."Out There", ...Somewhere.....Everywhere!

Lies!!!!

2011-05-20T13:00:00.004-04:00

So here's why I don't do statistic, they might work in the real world but this is MIAMI......and everyone knows that we ain't in the real world; just go to South Beach.

Latest one that came out was that we (Miami-Dade) pay more then half of our income in rental expense and this made us number 1 in the USA...FINALLY we are number "uno" in something but really half our income?

Which income?

The one on the W2 or the one that you are spending every weekend in all of our great places to spend the "izquierda" and if you don't know what this means....well lets just say "its a Miami thing, you would not understand".

We'll continue to pay "half our earnings" in rent and feel free to feel sorry for us....

See ya at Saks!

Ok, I've been busy....

2011-05-20T11:45:00.000-04:00

And have not written anything all month but that is about to change.

Lots of good stories to tell, we'll start with the "Lies" and move on to "Appraisers" (I now love them).

Stay tuned!

The Non Counter....

2011-04-29T16:46:00.000-04:00

Oh how I love them....

The Non counter is the way a Seller tells you " @#$% you and the horse you rode in on" and in this market with such a large spread in asking price to final price; we get them a whole lot more then before.

While regular unrealistic sellers (non pros) are starting to use this tactic more often, this used to be a "Builders" first reply 99.9% of the time to any offer (The more things change, the more they stay the same)

So below is an email response to the listing agent as to the Builders (sellers) non response.........enjoy.

Hi,
Thanks for the reply and being builders, it’s exactly what I expected from them (I had told my kids that from the get go).

So here goes the reasons why they should accept and it will probably fall on deaf ears but what the hell……..I can’t help myself.

Sellers are asking 489.0 with a bad roof and 1664 sq ft.
Comps show 1600 sq ft selling in the high 3’to low 4’s with a direct comp selling at 410.0 (with nicer finishes and pool/lot/street).
So forget appraising this puppy…and right about here this eliminates about 70% of current home buyers (FHA) in this price range.

Now we have 30% left and the majority who will be CASH buyers and they NEVER, EVER pay Seller’s premium…..would these sellers pay?

So who buys the place for an above value price?

Yep, my kids……..Private dough, non investors and a Realtor (me) who can help them navigate the deferred maintenance required.

They say that your first offer is your best and at the end of the day they will not net more than the 410.0 if that.

Why?

Here goes…

Dear Seller,
Someone will offer you what you will accept and then they will do inspections and find Roof, septic, deferred maintenance deficiencies and freak out…… Back to square one.

(Things may stay the same but todays Buyers have changed, what we used to consider Charming they consider Old, Creepy and to quote.....EWWW......)
My offer takes into account all of these and some items that have not been discussed (did I mention city tax card and sq footage?)

They should take this or just knock it down and deal with a pesky little unknown Florida Supreme court ruling that affects this particular neighborhood.

Give us the deal, we’ll get it close and you can move on.

Blunt enough?
Too Blunt?

Feel free to edit ……oh and tell me when they ask us to reduce our commission.

And yes you guessed it......no reply from seller but I feel a whole lot better; so does my buyer.

AHHH....Not Erica too...

2011-04-21T16:53:00.001-04:00

So you just think it's me that can control the weather?

Well it appears that my Niece (Fab Assistant Realtor Pro (FARP)) has the same gift.

She is planning on leaving tomorrow for some well deserved R & R in Sin city (really on "Good Friday") and apparently you know who up there is not taking it kindly.......

It's freaking April and we already have a "disturbance"!!!!! (there was one when I wrote this)

Thanks a lot Erica!!!!

Hello, Hola...

2011-04-07T09:45:00.004-04:00

If you found one of these in your front door or hanging on your mailbox today, it's just our unique way of saying hello.

We do very little self promotion but after so many folks asking "where have you been all my life" we took it to heart and decided to "get out there".....So here we are!

Very quietly, we have become the number one RE/MAX team in Coconut Grove/Coral Gables (Heck we're the number 1 RE/MAX team "in non distressed sales" in all of Miami-Dade) we figured that its time to let the folks know......

"We're numero uno"

Got Real Estate questions and want a second opinon, you have options just give us a shout we're always around.....just don't tell anyone.

Arrested!!!!!!

2011-04-01T08:58:00.009-04:00

I take great pride that as a Latin male that grew up in Mee-am-mi during the bad old days of the 80's that I never made it to the "Big House" but now at the age of 49 I'm being put away for an...................wait for it..................

No it's not an April fool’s joke..........

An HOUR!!!!
At RUTH CHRIS STEAKHOUSE!!!!
THE HORROR!!!!!

Yes folks, someone who has hidden their identity (coward) has "volunteered" me as a top Gables realtor to spend an hour or so behind bars....in this case a restaurant bar (in this I DO have experience).

Why you may ask have I been put through this? For a good cause; it's the annual Muscular Dystrophy lock up and I have to post bail.

Bail is set at 3200.00....so knowing all the folks that I know; I should be out sometime in August.

Hell I'll bet that I could raise more if it were to keep me in!

More on this later; It's sometime this month.

Trulia

2011-03-28T11:16:00.002-04:00

"Cry Havoc! and let slip the dawgs of war"

More on this later if I win, if not my fellow "dawgs" will go whimpering into the night.

Yes Neil, I know it's Dogs....I'm no "ienstine"

We're Number....

2011-03-25T15:27:00.002-04:00

89!!!

Ok,
So a while ago we found out that we were in the top 20 agent wise in Coral Gables, today we were in the top 100 of all teams in Florida.

Congrats to Erica, Monica and Mike; nice job!

ABC's of Rental Scams

2011-03-22T08:08:00.006-04:00

Let's start with the old saying "If it sounds to good to be true, it probably is" and if you practice this, no need to read any further.....

If not, here we go.

Apparently the "Nigerian Prince's" noticing a drop in participation of their ever popular "you are the winner/heir/long lost lover/UK funds scam, have decided like many scammer's before them to "Hell, let's get into the Florida Real Estate Gig"

And so they have Kiddies, this is how it works:

First it starts with a Realtor's Multiple Listing Service (MLS) and how we input our listings.
When we input our listings there is this "Magic" question button that states "OK to advertise" and if you say "Si/Yes", your listing goes viral and all sorts of Real Estate sites pick up the listings.

You as the Consumer are all excited cause you get to see the listing on your site of choice, like this one.

If we say "NO/No", (no is spelled the same in Spanish, only louder) the listing basically disappears from the world as you know it (WWW.something.com) and only well connected aliens can see your listing.

So; "Si" good, "No" bad.....cool?

BUT "Si" also brings in the "Prince's" and they promptly do the following.

They first "pirate" the listing and "Claim it" as their own (see MY listing at http://miami.craigslist.org/mdc/apa/2277115327.html ) then once claimed they make several notable changes;

First and foremost is PRICE, they change it to some ridiculous number that reflects what it would have rented at before the advent of running water and or electricity.

In our real example above, the home rents for 5000.00 and to make thing really uncomfortable for you, it's currently rented for a year (paid full in advance).

Second, they change the contact info to their brand new email address (see below).

Again in our real example; the previous tenants.

Third, they sit back and wait for you to call.

BUT how can they do this you say?

Simple as A, B, C....and even D.

A) They go on public records (very easy to do) and get the owners name.

B) They open an email address such as, I want all of your money@ cause you are very dumb . com

C) They pose as said owners with a variation of this story; "I am an astronaut and have been transferred to the moon, I need to rent my home ASAP."

D) They get you to send them dough for keys and the lease (they really are not on the moon)

How can I avoid such scams, you ask?

Well the obvious answer is hire a Realtor!

But in light of the fact that you probably like us as much as having a root canal another way is to just mention the word "Escrow" to your fair prince.

Yes Kiddies, just one magic word and your Prince will turn into a frog (no need to kiss).

It's Back!!!

2011-03-20T15:10:00.004-04:00

"El Herald" was in my driveway this morning which only means one thing, SHE"S BACK!!!!!

Who is she?

My Mother in Law (MIL).

So after my annual Birthday/Christmas gift to me (she leaves to visit family in New Jersey for three months) American airlines will be depositing her at 5:30 pm. today.....

Spring has Sprung!

Price is Right....Final!

2011-03-16T12:05:00.005-04:00

This is my last comment (probably not) on the Guessing Game AKA the "art of appraising".

Remember the first post on this series "Declining Market" well this from a recent guess by another "ACE" on one of my deals.

And I quote;

"the subjects sub market has been analyzed by trending indicators over the past 12 months. In the prior 7 to 12 months the prices were stable with little indications of a declining market.
However in the past 4 to 6 months showed market values as stable and in the current 3 months show that the market is still indicating signs of a stable market."

Ok folks full disclosure;
All 5 of the "price is right" stories happen this month (3/11).

The Declining Market and this Stable Market story happened a week apart and in the SAME neighborhood.

Hell, I even have an Increasing Market story done in February.

So what's it going to be Ace?

Declining?
Stable?
Increasing?

Good appraisers get it.

They understand the neighborhoods they are working and can value properties objectively but as more lenders use "in the queue" appraisers, all they are doing is slowing down a pent up housing recovery.

Just a thought.

Price is Right, part quattro....

2011-03-15T08:45:00.002-04:00

By now you have pretty much guessed that I'm not very fond of appraisers nor their methods; it's not exact, it is an "art", they work for the Lenders and to them they hold true.

True story;
When I was taking my Real Estate licensing course, I was told that appraising was one of the 7 forms of Real estate that I could preform; meaning that as a licensed Realtor I can do appraisals legally (with some obvious exceptions).

Hell, Lenders reach out to us daily wanting us to do BPO's at a fraction of what it cost them to pay for appraisers on distressed properties.....so it's not like we don't know how to do these things.

So it's frustrating for us who practice Real estate full time to be at the mercy of folks who many times have no clue as to the market that they are appraising.

BTW; the ones who do know the market very RARELY miss the mark.

OK, enough bitching and lets get to the fun stuff.

4th appraisal story; a classic....

Another deal on the table and from the get go, you knew this deal was screwed; the way the agent was working the deal had all the makings of a train wreck waiting to happen.

Over and over again we heard "are you sure this will appraise" and over and over we said beats the hell out of us.

We had comps showing the value but again, we are at the mercy of "Ace"

So here comes Ace, promptly takes measurements/pictures and comes in 80k short.

Agent; "Told you it would not appraise"

Me; "Can I see appraisal?"

Agent; "Why"

Me; "So that you may cancel this contract (and get out of my life, cause we had a back up)"

Agent; "OK, but I told you it would not appraise"

Me; "Yeah, I get it"

Get the appraisal and all of the comps used are REO/Distressed sales even though our listing was not a distressed sale.....but wait it gets better.

Note: Appraisers also use current pending sales and actives to "justify" the guess.

Ace, apparently having way to many BPO's to do, just gave a quick looksy at these 2 and forgot to mention that the Pending sale that he used had been pending for over 400 days!!!

And the active was not active anymore (been taken off the market for a loan mod).

See we know this cause.....oh yeah we work the market full time.

So me being me, I just had to send this note to Mr. Agent (condensed version)

"Dear Mr. Agent,

Appraisal blows (for the above reason's) and you might want to look at page 6 of appraisal."

wait for it.....

Ace's License was expired!

Price is Right, part 3....

2011-03-14T15:37:00.004-04:00

Up to now in our continuing series "the mysteries of appraising" we have discussed the following:
Declining Market (more on this topic Wednesday).

Cost as built "Hey you can't build that for what you sale comped it at"

And today we take a look at "Where did MY square footage go to?"

This one left me scratching my head for a couple of days and it's going to take a bit to explain...so here goes.

When appraisers "guess" at value, they often use other properties as comparable's and one of the main criteria used outside of Location and Bedrooms/Bath count is Square footage.

They diligently measure the home that they are appraising and compare it to others of the same/equal size.......and right about here is where it gets a bit dicey.

Now the way that they get the other square footage is by looking at public records which has 3 separate "square footage" listed for each property, they are:

Building/Living Area Sq Ft
Adjusted Sq Ft
Total Sq Ft

Building Sq Ft, assumes where you live; think what's under A/C

Adjusted Sq Ft, is some magical number that no one has ever figured out; it takes % of structures and adds it all up.

Total Sq Ft, is everything that you have "hardscaped", in short think concrete (if you live in little Havana, this includes the whole lot that has been paved over for parking and or illegal structures)

We good so far? Cool.......

Have a deal on the table and here comes "Ace" to do his thing; measures the place, takes some photos and away he goes.

Several days later and some anxious moments we get the appraisal and lo and behold we hit the sales number........hoo freaking ray!

BUT we notice a little (as in sq ft) missing.

The buyers home has lost some Sq Ft as compared to the tax sheet.....over 600 sq ft to be precise.

Where our Building SQ FT reads 2500, it reads on appraisal as 1900 sq ft...WTF?

Me; "Ace, what happened to my building/living sq ft?"

Ace; "Living means under A/C and you have 1900...I measured"

Me; "What about the other comps, how did you measure them?"

Ace; "I used the tax sheets Building Sq Ft"?

You know where this is going don't ya...........

Me; "Hey, but my "Tax sheet" said 2500"

Ace; "Huh"

AND there's my Aha moment; if he does not adjust the sq ft down, property comps at 500k and the folks at the bank say "WTF" and order a reappraisal.

Using this appraisers logic (HA) by adding the missing sq ft, my folks bought the property at 170 sq ft, when it comped at 205 a sq ft; in short they made 75k.

Declining market????

BTW; do you need a licesne to appraise?

Price is Right, part dos......

2011-03-11T09:00:00.005-05:00

Ok, today we will tackle another favorite of mine in the continuing series "the price is right" AKA "the mystery of appraising".

This I know; Appraisals have three valuations (or wild guesses) they are:

Sales Comparable Approach
Cost Approach
Income approach

Yesterday we discussed Sales Comp approach and the declining market or there of.....

No one really has a clue as to how this works; kinda of like a TV without a remote control clicky thingy.

The story.

Have a nice home 1800 sq ft, 2/2 with a garage (in a depressed Hood) and it's listed under a 100k.
In Mee-am-mi this makes it one of the lowest priced homes known to mankind (outside of a 25k deal we are trying to close this week but that home is Especial) so I get it under contract at full price and here comes the appraiser.......

Me; "What do you think, Ace?"

Ace; "We'll see"

Me; "Oh well there goes this deal"

Ace; "Huh?"

"We'll see" never leads to anything positive in Real Estate.

Ace comes back at 82k, now remember that this home is in good shape, 1800 sq ft and has 2 bedrooms 2 baths and a large 1 car garage....in front of a park!!!

On this appraisal, Ace doesn't even ATTEMPT to use the Cost (as built ) approach.........wanna know why?

Cause he knew that building this home "as is" (termites and all) for under 200k was impossible even with our abundance of illegal labor!!!!!

So to keep it clean they simply "omit" this little point; how would you explain this small discrepancy to the underwriters?

"Well you see that the home is worth 80k but to build it would cost over 200k and you know that with the market in the third moon of Jupiter"............another WTF moment!

All my recent appraisals have comped higher in the Cost approach, even when depreciation is factored in (which is a big ugly number)

It's a shame that sellers have no recourse, but as I've mentioned before Appraisers get paid either way and lenders NEVER lose....

Monday we'll have a positive story; titled "Hey, do you know where my square footage is?"

If the wind blows...

2011-03-10T16:30:00.002-05:00

And no weatherperson gets hysterical....did it really happen.

Today we had a nice little Blow to the tune of 50mile an hour gust and not a peep.

No, "holy shit we are all going to die moments"
No, "stock up on water/batteries/tuna fish"

No Nada.....

Gosh how I miss Hurricane season!

Price is right!

2011-03-10T08:37:00.007-05:00

Let's discuss my favorite mystery in the Real Estate gig........you guess it "kitty cats"!

So we have four stories to tell....hmm which one first?

The missing square footage?
The Declining market?
The "you can't build it for that price?"

Or the EXPIRED license!!!!

A series, we'll start with my favorite "the declining market"

As I have mentioned several times Mee-Am-Mi is a BIG @#$%^& place and what is declining in one place does not mean it's declining in another.

Sold a home, went to the appraisal and literally handed the appraiser a previous appraisal indicating value at the current sale price.

The dude thanked me and promptly proceeded to value the property 36k under sale price.

WTF, why the difference?

Declining value in the neighborhood......Really?

Me; "So where do you live Ace?"

Ace; "Kendall"

Me; "Ever try to buy a place in the Grove"

Ace; "No, I can't afford it"

Me; "So what makes you think this market is declining?"

Ace; "I have a license and I read it somewhere?"

Me; "How much to you get paid?"

Ace; "Huh?"

Official verbiage from appraisal explaining something; HUH stuff in Bold......

• Market Conditions Addendum to the Appraisal Report : Foreclosure/REO Sales in the Market

The appraiser has reviewed closed sales over the last 12 months, as well as, current available listings from within the subject's market area. The analysis indicated approximately 63 closed sales over the past 12 months. Only 5 were found to be REO/foreclosure sales, which equates to approximately 8% of all sales. There are currently 87 active listings in the subject's
market area.

1 was found to be REO/foreclosure listings. This equates to approximately 1% of all listings. Thus, REO/foreclosure activity is not considered prevalent at this time. As such, no REO/foreclosure sales or listings were included in this appraisal.

Now wait for it................................

However, the presence of these types of transactions do appear to be placing additional downward pressure on sales prices, as well as increasing typical marketing times.

And there is my ah ha moment...it's a declining market because of something that has not happened yet!

End of story, you ask?

Nah.

The Buyer realizing that the appraiser was clueless, paid what the "As built" price was which was much higher then the appraised price.

Why you may ask?

Cause they don't live in Kendall, They have been shopping for over 6 months and they REALLY know what is declining and what is not.

Which leads me to "As Built"........to be continued.

First of all...

2011-03-03T12:00:00.007-05:00

In Reply to Riley Smith's (EWM) assertion that he had to drag me over the finish line on his latest blog post; well that's only true because the longest training run we did was 22 miles and he "just forgot" to mention that there were 4.2 more miles in the actual marathon; boy was that a surprise!

OK Quick recap on his post;

I have a property under contract in North Grove and Riley and I are always kidding each other on where we can list/buy properties.

When Riley, as a well known collector of fine properties in The North Grove found out that I had sold something in his Hood, he called the listing agent Carleen Smith (EWM) and gave her a hard time about me selling something there without him knowing; something about right of first refusal.....

So I just had to come up with something.

And just to be clear, I don't think this addendum is in "Forms simplicity" NOR is it approved by FAR BAR

The best was Carleen's call later in the day; "Are you serious Jav, I framing this addendum"

Lot's of good stuff going on in Coconut Grove, come on down and check us out.

Woke up....

2011-03-01T14:38:00.003-05:00

To this question today;

"Jav, what do you consider the top three best condo investments in sobe?"

Wow, that is a toughie so early in the morning....and my blog post for today.

Below was my reply:

"I personally don’t see condos as investments period because of the volatility of the product.
Several factors can come into play that you cannot control in the condo gig.

First and foremost is the association and how well/honest they run the building; lots of folks don’t look at this.

From first hand experience, every time I have a board meeting 10 out of 238 folks show up.

With that said, it might be because we have not had any special assessments nor maintenance hikes in 4 years and the folks are happy but still most unit owners are not involved and if just several board members get together for their personal agendas you could have huge ramifications.

I’ve seen great buildings completely tank just cause of one missed insurance payment or simple board infighting.

Second you are enclosed in a fixed market at all times and are at the mercy of the other unit owners.

Example;
You own unit 123 on the 3 line.
The unit owner above you decides that he hates everyone and dumps his unit at 10 dollars…..guess what your unit just priced out at?

Or you have a special assessment and several unit owners say “screw this, I’m out a here” and then you have downward pressure on the whole building.

So investment….None.

Place to live; plenty it’s just a matter of finding what/where you like.

I know it might sound like a copout but all buildings are good and bad; it’s about your needs."

I truly mean this....Oh, and keep looking to your left, we're adding new fun content every couple of days.

Web Site Update

2011-02-22T12:51:00.002-05:00

Something new on our site and you have to pay attention.... quick.... look to the left; cause it will only last a "couple of days".

Every so often ("couple of days") we'll be posting different stories about our little neck of the woods... AKA "Mee-am-mi".

Since Real Estate is Local and folks from all over the world read news about us, we're going to use this space to really tell folks what we are all about.

The stories will be indicative of what our local Real Estate markets are doing; key word here is "MARKETS".

Yes, Virginia (and other places a broad), Mee-am-mi is a BIG, BIG place and not all news reflects what's really going on.

So stop by every couple of days, we'll give you plenty of useless....I mean pertinent information.

Presented as only we can, should be fun!

Feed them...

2011-02-17T13:22:00.002-05:00

and they will come!!!!

I know it wasn't my good looks nor the weather that brought out a whole bunch of fantastic local Realtors......it was the home cooked Sliders.

Yesterday we had a Brokers open (open house for local Realtors) and we like to do some fun stuff to get the word out about our listings.

This particular home located at 120 Morningside Dr in Coral Gables, has a great outdoor entertainment area that features a complete kitchen and we used it to it's full advantage.

We fired up the grill and cooked over a hundred sliders for our fellow brethren pool side.

Janie Coffey (see blog here) was kind enough to take some video and here I am on "you tube".

Lots of fun at a great home with lots of good folks, thanks all for coming.

BTW; any suggestions for next week?

Value?

2011-02-10T11:19:00.002-05:00

Or the perception there of...

Got a question today from a customer and it hit right on the my Value theme.

"Jav, is it me or is the mil market soft?"

My Reply;

The mil price is a funny animal (just like a platypus).

If the home is nice and priced accordingly it flies and you really don’t see it on the MLS for long.

True story;
Top EWM Agent just listed a property on great st, it's a 3/3, pool, good sq footage, interesting home that has not been on the market for a while at 1.1

And it had a close to full price offer in a week.

What did the seller do?

Freaked of course and took it off the market.

Why?

Probably thought it was under priced.

I can hear the conversation now "but how can you sell it so fast in this market, must be worth more then we listed at"

AH No...."ienstine"

It was not; price was right on but more importantly, the buyers had been looking for a long time. They recognized that the property had value compared to the rest of available homes.

Moral of the story; If it has value they will come (and value is just not price).

Oh and thank god it was a cash deal, god forbid if it had to be appraised; then the Seller would have really freak!

Cash is King..

2011-02-09T16:33:00.002-05:00

As if there was ever any other question, according to Zillow.com cash buyers represented more than half of all transactions in the Miami-Fort Lauderdale area last year.

Again, this is no surprise, after all South Florida is flooded with investors from the North as well as international ones who desire a tropical escape from their often frigid homes. What they didn't say is how many of those transactions were single family homes vs. condos.

Or what neighborhoods these cash deals are in; hence my problem with statistics.

My other problem is that cash is great and all but what about Joe blow (the rest of us) who needs to get a loan to buy a $400K house or a $180K to buy their first condo?

What I'm seeing now is that even if Joe gets pre-approved and is willing to pay market price, the bank appraisers are coming in and blowing up the deals-appraising the property for less than the contract price. (just happen to me yesterday)

And the vicious circle of home prices slipping and people fearing the real estate market keeps going round and round so that people with cash can continue to buy at low prices and stay rich.

You can thank the media's interpretation of statistics and scare tactics.

And again, I say, "Statistics are for Losers." ....just ask the Steelers.

Omen..

2011-02-07T13:10:00.002-05:00

From the Real Estate gods!!!

So we ink a deal, all looks good and that very same day 8 palm fronds and 2 coconuts attack my for sale sign.

Show up the next day and there lies my poor little sign mangled and reaching out to me for some serious sign love.

My take, the gods knew that the deal was solid and it was their way of telling me.

OR

That I should stop putting my for sale signs under a palm tree.

Shorts...HA!

2011-02-01T15:57:00.011-05:00

When we last left the Short Sale story we were writing on "How they should work."

Today we'll look at how they really work....it ain't pretty.

First, we'll disregard the "Slim Shady" Realtor's that want to one side all their Shorts and always come up with an excuse as to availability of the property; which pretty much eliminates about 50% of all shorts.

Second, we'll disregard the sellers that are clueless as to what a short sale is due too much Google/Bing/Facebook/Slim Shady Realtors/Family members/TV; which eliminates about another 25%.

Third, we'll disregard the family/friend fraud aspect and there goes another 10%.

So we're left with about 15% of all shorts being....Shorts.

Now if they worked like they should, we would not need dear old Jav.

BUT

Since they NEVER work like they should we can make the experience considerably less painful.

Don't get me wrong, it's still going to be painful, just consider us your "Klonopin" during the process.

How can I ease the pain? Well for starters, I know the process on both sides and for better or for worse am asked to drive short sale deals by other Realtors.

Why because I've done it many times before.

Hey, practice makes perfect...

Have a specific short sale question? Feel free to shoot me an email or give me a call at 305.582.5085

IMPORTANT

2011-02-01T15:54:00.001-05:00

That's how the message started on my New/Old "Russian" assisted Blackberry.

It sounded innocent enough when my phone went "Beep" and when I finally found the Text icon, there it was:

11113000 AT&T free message: you will need a new phone and rate plan to.....I could not read any further.

After 26 years with my "Special" Cell plan might be over.

Damn, those Russians*....I think they ratted me out!

*to get it, see the movie "Be Cool"

The run...

2011-01-31T10:01:00.002-05:00

That keeps on giving.

Last night I'm icing down my legs and I reach down to adjust the ice bag.

Do you know there is a little muscle that runs along your rib cage?

Well apparently it's attached to where I was reaching cause when I reached, it decided that it did not want to be left out of the pain party...WTF!

So for those keeping score (and you know who you are) here's the totals on cramps (7).

Right calf, Left calf, right hamstring, left groin (huh?), both arches on my feet and this little abdomen thingy that I did not know I possessed.

Sign me up for next year!

It's Official....

2011-01-30T13:31:00.009-05:00

I'm nuts (as if there was any previous doubt) and you all owe the Knight Riders some dough!

3:56.43 finish time for my first Marathon and maybe my last.

Here's the official time for all of you who think I'm lying; plug in 3690 on the Bib.

Quick recap;
The start is way too early.
Cruise ships are big.
Pinched my brother's "firm ass" as we passed by....he asked me to.
The Sun rises on the East
We ran by Miami Beach Sr High, why?
The Venetian causeway is pretty and we ran the toll.
There was a really cool cheering station by the Omni downtown.
There are Hookers in Miami.
There are also Strippers/Dancers in Miami...BUT they really can CHEER!!
When the folks who run the half marathon split away from the group, it's depressing.
We ran by several Publix's, why?
Mile 16 blows, as does mile 17
Ana fed me on mile 18.5
Mile 19 blows, as does mile 20
From mile 20 to mile 24, I wanted to kill myself but I got a sponge bath instead.
Mile 25, I do not remember.
Mile 26, the SOB's who organize this insanity add a "Bridge".

Finish; I looked like Alex the Lion from the movie Madagascar stepping on thorn's.

But at least we broke 4hrs

We were really going well until I started to cramp up around mile 20 (I had tweaked my calf muscle last week) apparently the Marathon gods knew this and decided that this was a good time to see if I was truly up to the challenge...I was not, I wanted to cry.

With the encouragement of my fellow runner (Riley Smith), I was able to complete the run.

His encouragement sounded something like this;

"Jav you OK, you look a little Green"
(More like pale celadon color)

"Man up, we've trained for this"
(No we didn't, trust me I would have remembered this pain)

"Hey.. here comes a bridge, hope you can make it"
(That's when I felt best, cause it was almost over)

"Look, we're breaking 4Hrs if I have to drag your ass over the finish line"
(Promises, promises....please!)

He was kind enough to slow down and finish at the same time that I "dragged my ass" over the finish line and for that I thank him.

Good event but you have a couple of screws loose in the noggin.......on the positive side; we get to drink beer for the rest of the day!!

BTW; My open was cancelled....By the Seller; happiest moment of my life.

It's 4:35 AM

2011-01-30T04:35:00.003-05:00

And I'm up!!!

Not since my baking days (yes kiddies I owned a Bakery) have I needed to be up this early.
But just like riding a horse.....I still hate it.

Why 4:30 you ask?

Well today is "be stupid and run 26.2 miles for no good reason what so ever" day.

Check back in later this afternoon, I'll be doing Open house's starting at 2pm.
Come out and visit me....I'll be the one in a chair pointing out bedrooms.

120 Morningside Dr, Coral Gables

3744 Irvington Coconut Grove

108 Sarto Ave Coral Gables

Terrorist Alert!!!!

2011-01-28T11:09:00.003-05:00

So here I am minding my own business when this appears on my email.

Satisfied: 040, 090, 0235, 29a, 14, 31, p459, 24, t138.
Added: 30D as selling agent Javier Gonzalez name appears on LDP/GSA list. Need copy of DL to get date of birth and clear ldp/gsa.

I promptly have a Sarah Palin "WTF" moment.

After further review, I realize what LDP/GSA is and say....WTF.

Ok, I know I now have one of the most common Spanish name's; outside of my Dad's "Jose"..

BUT

True story;
When I was growing up there were very few "Oye's" in the hood; yes I know you don't believe me but it's true.....there was also nothing west of SR 826 except Everglades.

I actually met my first other Javier in 10th grade at Gables High.

Now there are "Javier's" everywhere I turn and apparently one has decided to join a Basque terrorist group, forcing me to check in at every airport in the world...This blows BTW.

Now where was I....

The above Hieroglyphs were conditions put on an FHA loan that one of my customers is getting.
This is what Loan approvals are coming to......Seriously?

Couple years ago they would lend to a dead person!

I'm changing my name.....To Javier Rodriquez!

BTW; that is also one of my favorite jokes.

Nokia RIP.....

2011-01-20T10:13:00.002-05:00

After many years of service and more recently, verbal abuse, I finally had to breakdown and purchase a new phone (the scotch tape/paper clip could do no more)

It was a sad moment as this particular phone had been with me for many years and had endured many "unlimited" minutes.....and when I mean many; Like 20% of my awake time (did a study).

So, I went to see my "Russian" connection and had them unlock my 2 old Blackberry's and I can now say that I am in the 21st century...sort of.

Why "Unlock" you ask?

Cause I've had my Cell since way back when only "International Investors" used them and I have a Special SIM card.

Special as in they don't make them any more; every time I try and upgrade the dude on the other side of the line calls me an idiot for trying to upgrade my "Special" plan.

Well I guess that as long as my Russians are in business I will continue with my "Special" phone.

Hey, at least I can now see text messages.

BTW; I also have a Bat phone (another story, for another day).

Short Sales....

2011-01-18T13:49:00.004-05:00

So how short are they?
That reminds me of my favorite joke, it’s titled
“And that’s how the fight started”

I was driving home yesterday and the guy in front of me hits the brakes and I ran into his back bumper.
Out came the guy (he was REALLY short) and looked at his bumper, looked at me all mad and put his hands on hips and says…“I’m not HAPPY”

I said “So which one are you”

And that’s how the fight started……

Ok, where was I…oh yeah Short Sales.

Short sales are just that; sales that are sold short….Huh?
What that means is that the lender (bank) is willing to accept a price that is less then what is owed on the mortgage, Got it?

How it should work:

1) Home Owner (seller) and Lender have a serious conversation about the financial position of Home Owner and their ability to pay current mortgage.

2) Lender attempts to mediate some financial pressure by offering incentives to Home Owner to continue paying current mortgage.

3) Once these incentives are not attainable, Home Owner and Lender agree to entertain a Short Sale.

4) Seller provides all required documentation to lender.
5) Lender provides all required guidelines to Home Owner.

6) Home Owner with in lender guidelines markets their property in an attempt to gain a purchase offer.

7) Once purchase offer is procured, said offer is presented to lender for review.

8) Lender will review terms of purchase offer, value property and make a final determination as to validity of purchase offer.

9) If lender agrees with the terms of the purchase offer, they will inform all parties of any closing conditions and if conditions are met/accepted the property goes to closing.

Simple right?

HA!!!

Should be but lots of stuff gets in the way……mainly the Homeowner (seller) and their Realtor.

To be continued.................

3690

2011-01-17T20:20:00.002-05:00

That's my number; be on the look out as I make the rounds (26.2 to be precise) on 1/30.

Come on down to Green Streets (mile 18.6) and cheer us on as we make the turn for home.....
Home being relevant as I could make a "BIG right" and REALLY go home.

A couple of years ago the ING went right in front of our our place (pic's to prove it) and that's when I first thought about running it.

I figured that if all hell broke loose (our place was mile19.3), I would just stop and have........ breakfast.

And then they move it.........DAMN!

The Power of...

2011-01-15T07:56:00.004-05:00

The 33134 zip code.

For the uneducated 33134 is the zip for Coral Gables and if you list ANYTHING, I mean ANYTHING under 300k (remember the REO story), it's 2005 all over again.

So I did....HA, let the bidding begin.

Listed yesterday and 17 calls later...I'm tired.

It's gotten to the point with this type of property that Buyers drive by, stalk the home, ask neighbors what's going on , drive everyone crazy and to top it all off I get the inevitable Cuban wheeler dealer call.

I love these guys and with a last name of "Gonzalez" (the "Smith/Jones" of my people) they immediately go "Homey" on me and the conversation sounds something like this.

"Oye asere, que bola, yo soy cash y no te voy a dar el precio, pero soy cash....Blah, Blah, Blah" (but only in Spanish and fast).

Translation;
"Oye, I'm a bottom feeder and I know it."

My reply, "Oye, I'll get back to you" (but with an accent).

It's not that I don't like to sell to investors; I just want them to at least pretend to be nice about screwing someone.

Is that much to ask?

Take it like a man....

2011-01-13T10:25:00.002-05:00

Wednesday!

Or for the ladies out there; get you big girl panties on!

Every once in a while we get our asses kick in the Real Estate world and yesterday was one of those days.

Listings were lost, Buyers went away and tenants found places on their own.

Hey, but at least the weather was nice!

Meet the Champs...

2011-01-11T08:21:00.008-05:00

We are excited and proud of our local Coconut Grove Knight Riders' Pee
Wee football team. They played hard to earn their spot in the Pop Warner National Championship playoffs and game at the ESPN Wide World of Sports Complex at Disney World.

Even more amazing is the overwhelming effort it took to get these guys there. The local Coconut Grove community rallied to get the funds necessary to get them to the Championship they almost couldn't make.

It was only through the local paper that I found out about them but I believed enough in this group to not only have donated but to learn more about these young boys and the folks behind them.

Luckily our community pulled through to make it happen this year but I found out that it continues to be an issue during every season. While the Knight Riders' staff is busy making sure the boys get their "C" average to play (at least), and making sure they have their physicals done each season...and of course making sure they can play the game; this group behind the Knight Riders is responsible for coming up with the funds needed to pay for the football fees, the physicals, the uniforms and supplies, transportation to and from games, referee fees, field fees, and even more fees as they climb up the championship ladder!

Unfortunately for many in this community, handing over $100 so their kid can play football is a luxury they cannot afford.

And that's something that these kids shouldn't have to think about.

So I'm throwing a hail Mary for the Knight Riders and running the ING marathon in their honor.

All I ask is for a pledge of $20 if I break the marathon in 4 hours.

All proceeds will go directly to the Youth Empowerment Social Services who make the magic happen.

Over the years, they've developed some great athletes. Athletes that we only hope will come back and make the same contribution to their community (Frank Gore was just here for the kids).

It’s a great local charity that motivates and allows these children to
shoot for the stars.

If you want to help please send your donations to:

ReMax Advance Realty
Attn: Javier Gonzalez
7220 SW 57 Avenue
South Miami, FL 33143

IMPORTANT; I want you to get credit for the donation.

Make Checks payable to: Youth Empowerment Social Services

Check Memo: Jav’s Marathon Run

We're number....

2011-01-10T11:44:00.000-05:00

something thing or other.

Much to my surprise....(this often happens when I'm not paying attention), today I was informed that yours truly was in the top 20 in listing/selling agents in Coral Gables!

Who would have thunk it?

Now for those who know me as the "King of Minorca Avenue" this comes as no surprise.

This year we are shooting for top 10 status and will expand our street presence....literally I may even sell a "street" in the Gables.

So...

2011-01-05T09:08:00.005-05:00

You want to buy an REO (Real estate owned) or too the wise "A Shit Kicker", do ya?

Well let me tell you a story...all true and it just happened.

You come in all cocky cause it's a Buyer's Market (HA!) and say "I want to buy a deal"

Me; "Ok"...(I often have these kinda deep thoughts)

You; What do we need to do?

Me; "Is it investment property or personal residence?"

You; "Personal....but I want to make money when I sell"

Me; "don't you read my blog?"

You; "you blog?"

Me; "That hurts"

You; "What?"

Me; "No really that was uncalled for"

You; "Huh?"

Me; "Still don't get it"

You; " I think I need a new Realtor"

Me; "Sounds like a plan"

Ok, now where was I.......oh yeah the story.

REO comes up on Navarre (Gables) listed at 257.0
It's a 2/2 with a small 1/1 cottage and garage.
Has all the appliances and a neat upstairs office in front facade.
In short, super cute place.

Soon as I see it I say "let the fun begin....we are going to party like it's 2005"

I write up a couple of offers and tell my folks "Don't get to excited, we don't stand a chance"

Sure enough; 30, I say THIRTY, as in TRENTA Offers later I was informed that the Bank took another offer..........No Shit!

Has not closed yet but my guess is that it went well over 400k; which is what it was worth in the open market.....so much for that REO deal.

PS; found out a little while ago that it's up to 33..........