Something New!

Folks ask me all the time "So Jav, what do you think is a good deal in such and such a place"

And I'll say something like this; "well you know such and such is quite large and it depends on what you are looking for, as there are many ways to look at such and such and......................ZZZZZZZZZ.

In an attempt and this will be just that, an attempt, I introduce to you "Jav's top 5 or 10 properties for such and such a place" and we'll do it as only we can. (easy fellow realtor's, you'll want to make this list).

What criteria am I using you ask?

Price?
Square Footage?
Layout?
Special Features?
Proximity to Amenities?
Hot, Famous Neighbors?

Yep, all that and the simple fact that I have actually seen the place.

Monica wants me to start in the Gables (cause she lives there), I say the Grove (my hood), Mike backs South Miami (his hood) and Erica says "is there a top 5 in shitkickers?"

So as a public service to all, we introduce "Jav's seen it" !!!!!!!!!

"Hey, did'nt you introduce it as "Jav's top 5 or 10" earlier in this blog post?

Yes, but I decided to change the name, it's my Blog and I will do as I please!

"Yeah, but why don't you just edit the post so that the name stays the same?"

Cause I don't know how.

"Try copy/paste Ienstine"

Oh we're going to start that again are we?

Now where was I before the editorials took over?

Ah yes, where to start "Jav's seen it"

After much deliberation we'll start in .................COCONUT GROVE!

Gee what a surprise................We'll just start next week.

Enjoy the Holiday, see ya after the 4th.

It pays to read this blog..

If you are looking for a place; you'll see it here first!

3/2 with garage in South Grove for 449.0
New roof, AC, Electrical, wood floors.

Will need to update Kitchen but well worth the effort.

Nice lot (7300 sq ft) on a really quiet street.

So if you know anyone, have them call me.

And just because...

Hot Pads has decided to join the "I can top that fraud on Trulia" bandwagon...

Check out this fabulous rental in South Grove.
4/3 plus den, 3000 sq ft, great location for ONLY 1400 bucks!

Just send some dough to some Nigerian Dude (Chaf is no longer scamming) and we'll send you keys.

Ha, I have the keys and I'm not in Nigeria!

I hate the internets......

But wait!

Chaf after getting bounced from Trulia has re appeared in Hot Pads, just check out is Fabulous new listing!

4/3 plus den, 3000 sq ft, great location for only 2150!

Chaf, dude the nigerian is way lower then you.......must be the cheap labor.

I hate NAFTA!

And not to be left out.........

Trulia!

I had my little fun with Zillow the other day and apparently feeling "dissed", my boys at Trulia one upped them over the weekend.

It started as it always does with a breathless phone call that goes something like this.

"Hi, I'm really interested in the home you have in the Grove for rent, its a 4/3 and it looks beautiful and I have to have it and when can I see it and it looks great and I know that its really hard to find a good rental and ......." and by now since they have not taken a breath, they pass out and I have to wait for them to come back on the line.

Well since I don't have a 4/3 for rent in the Grove BUT I do have a 4/3 for sale, I immediately realize that the listing has been "Jacked" by some low life in another part of the world.

So I ask a simple question;

Me; "Where did you find such a wonderful home"

Breathless in Miami; " On my nifty, free mobile Real Estate app"

Me; "App?"

BIM; "yes, App"

Me; "Que es un App?"

BIM; "An app is something you down load from the Internet"

Me; "And"

BIM; but under their breath "it's something that makes me think I know more then you"

Me; " Can your little App give you any common sense?"

BIM; "Huh?"

Same old story that I've written about before, goes like this.

We input a listing, it goes all over the place "The Internet's" and some shuck claims it on some lame site  at a reduced price and then some other not so lame site picks it up and before you know it it's on a legitimate site (legitimate as in soon looking for IPO $) and the consumer calls (in this case, some dude named Chaf) and is taken for a ride....or worst thousands of dollars.

I took 20 calls on this property over the weekend and I hope no one sent old Chaf any dough.

Old saying kids, if it looks to good to be true....you know the rest.

BTW; good for all the folks who at least came by and called off my sign to confirm old Chaf's story; you did the right thing.

Zillow...

Bad month to be a bottom feeder in the Magic City.

For those who do not worship the Zillow "Zestimates" (first good for you) some background; this is a tool that "prices" residential real estate on it's website.

Most of the time (as in always) it's completely clueless and this week it really went were no site has gone before. If you were to take it seriously, we are in the mist of a HUGE pricing increase in the general hood!

Yep, time to party like it's 2006....one of my listings increased 200k in a month.

Thank you Zillow for again proving that you're clueless but thank you for at least starting to somehow get the numbers moving in the right direction.

Folks, I'll say it again and again...Real Estate is local and your home it's NOT an investment; It's were you live this crazy little thing called life.

Pool Heater?

Heard a great "Inspection" story today on the semi weekly death run in the middle of the afternoon.

Inspector saw a propane tank at a home, noticed that at one time there was a pool heater attached to it and being a professional (non regulated) inspector, called the non existing pool heater as needing repair/replacement!

Huh?
Really, no really?

So that means that every home with a Garage, but no car in it has to have the seller put in a car?

I can't make this up, Classic!

Train Wrecks!

Oh and how I love them!

What's a train wreck in my Gig you ask?

Well it involves several deals tied into one particular person (engine) where no one gets hurt (psychically).

This is a true story currently under production.

We have a Listing in Kendall and a Buyer sees it at a Sunday open house.
Buyer makes offer with us; we now have Buyer/Seller....oh how fun!

After offer, I find out that the Buyer is related to ANOTHER Buyer of mine looking in the Gables.

In the meantime, I have another Buyer making an offer on a home in another part of town.
Offer is accepted and The Seller hires me as their Buyers rep.

With me so far?

Ex Seller/ New Buyer likes a home in Pinecrest (yes I get around) and we are in the process of making an offer on that home.

So where you going with this Jav?

Well the Seller of the Pinecrest Home likes......you guessed it, my listing in Kendall.

I can already see the wheels coming off the tracks.

Oh and the Buyers in the Gables, what about them?

Some how I'm guessing they'll love a home in the Grove that I will be Listing and the whole story starts all over again..............God I love this GIG!

Oh and if you are keeping score....3 Sellers and 4 Buyers all in the same deal.

And Another....

Over qualified person decides that Real Estate is not for them.

My new Admin (who was very good BTW) decided after a couple of weeks of seeing what we do every day, that....and I quote "you have to be f@#$%^& crazy to do this!"

And with that, she kissed me good bye and walked out the door never to be seen again.......well not really, like the hair club for men slogan.....she is also Client, so she keeps coming back.

She will also be staring in my next blog post titled "Train Wreck" and how I love them.

What now you ask? No, really ask?

I got down on my knees and begged Monica to do double duty, which prompted this reply "my chitlin is off for summer vacation and I cannot come in during the summer".

What 2 year kids can't take of themselves?

I remember when I was little I had to walk to school uphill in the snow both ways..........