"And when the dust....

Had finally settled and the air had quickly cleared, things were better off then I had feared"

Another day, another deal...sss

Off we go to do 2 REO battles, a little bidding war on a small home and try to knock some sense into my builder friend (good luck on the last one)

SHOW TIME!!!!!!!

Even though we are "Malo Cristianos" for working during "Holy week"...

God how I love this gig.....

BTW; Si/No contacted me....answer is still Si/No.

"Come Monday.....

It will be alright"......

Tough day; no one listen, no one got it so I'm calling it a day.

oh and did I mention my "MIL" is back.

"It's my job...

To be cleaning up this mess and that's enough reason to go for me".....(old JB tune, but that's how I feel right now)

3 of 3....

This one does not involve Realtors.......but Developers.

I feel really BAD about this one as it's a bit personal; goes like this.

Called a builder friend of mine to bounce a couple of questions off of him.

So builder friend I ask "how much to finish out closets/window treatments/Washer Dryer/ETC"

If you are not aware, most builders do not include this in their " Brand New Construction" but add it on after you have fallen in love with their "BNC".

Builders are very proud of their "BNC" even when they are 3 to 4 years old.....which is the moral of this story.

OK so we get to talking about this other builder who I am trying to get to accept a deal on a "BNC" that is 2 years old (BTW; it's costing him a small fortune to carry) and I tell my Friend that I'm offering 300k less then asking price and I quote here "HE'S CRAZY IF HE DOES NOT TAKE IT".

And that's when I hit him with "well I am sending you an offer on your 4 year old "BNC" at 300k less then your asking" and what do I get....

"What are YOU crazy?"

HUH????

Some folks never learn......

"Please don't say MANAÑA...

If you don't mean it" (Thanks again JB for the words)

Part 2 of 3 (Realtor abuse)

Now this relates to another post I wrote about a year ago title Bingo and BTW; I am pretty sure that at the end of this deal the FBI will be giving me a call.

Ok I make an offer on a Short Sale and after several backs and forth's the Seller (lender) takes a higher offer (not by much) and the agent tells me.

So far, all good but Me being Me; I don't let it go.........and then the fun begins...

I know this property really well (call in the FEDS) and also know that it has about 200k in violations, I share this with the agent just to give them a heads up.

Agent has no clue and really does not give it much thought........

UNTIL,

The other offer comes back wanting a Billion dollar reduction for the violations.

And that's when I get the call "Jav, are you still interested in the property"?

"Well of course and yes we will take care of all the violations and close in 15 days and we'll even solve the Middle East Issue to boot".

Oh and BTW......told you so.

Great they say, send us an email stating this and we'll presented to the Seller; so I do.

And I'm thinking, "prepare a really good story for when the FEDS take me away" , I got the deal!

HA

What I get is a whole lot of....








Nada

Which leads me to;

Dear Realtors,
The answer is simple,
If you have a deal it's "YES" or "SI'
If you do not have a deal it's "NO" or "NO"

What it is not is "I don't know" or "No Se"

So if you don't know...get someone who does.

"My head hurts, my FEET stink.....

and I don't love Jesus" (thank you Jimmy Buffett for those words of wisdom).

Part 1 of 3 entries that will just be Realtor abuse....here goes.

You know how Realtors use their picture on their cards?

Well this is an old school trick that is meant to make the recipient of the card guilty when they throw the card away (or use it to pick their teeth), see it's harder to do this when some Realtors mug is looking you square in the face/mouth/whatever.....

Now after being the recipient of MANY cards, with way too MANY pictures; I ask my fellow Realtors "take your photos off your cards".

Kids the picture you took 15 years ago and or before several enhancements, does not do you any justice.......plus we can't recognize you.

BTW; The Onion has a very funny take on this (I wasn't going to buy this house, until)

Now you know why my card has my Feet on them...try picking your teeth with one!

MONICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes she is special and gets her own Blog post.

So, I've known Monica for a while (she used to work at a really big company...but not anymore) and if there is any better testimony for my greatness as a Realtor....she is it.

In the height of the Real Estate market I sold her a Condo in Brickell!!!!!!!!!!!

You would think that she would see me in the same light as say....pond scum (but only lower), well not her, being a Nice Midwesterner she actually still speaks to me.

And just to show you why she no longer works at a really big company (she's special...like in slow)....she's buying another property thru me.

Some folks NEVER learn.

She will be admin'ing our day to day business, but she will also be involved in our web presence (really big company)..........so if you see naked pictures of me on "You Tube"....just remember........I did sell her a condo on Brickell.

All sorts of Stuff....

I know you all have been worried after the attempted "accident" perpetrated by my MIL but not to worry all good in "Javi world"

The scooter is in the shop after several calls to road side assistance (several like in 12 calls....some assistance) I should be "drag racing" a pretty little powder blue car down Minorca any time soon (I hope he wears one of those manly British racing scarfs).

Some news to share with all the folks out there who actually read this....HA!

We have made some changes/additions in our magic city.
Introducing my new Admin.....Monica!!!!!

You know I was going to share Monica's story on this same page but after starting to write it, I decided that she deserves her own entry............to be continued.

Well if I have a new Admin, what happen to my old Admin?

Andrea is alive, well (and still single); she has taken on a project where she will be assisting lots of "the future" in finding affordable rentals for the upcoming school year.

She is also assisting me with new Buyers and since she has been around a while.....no blog post for you!

YET.................

And so I don't get into any "estrogen" fight.....Erica is doing better then I (and there is no living with her).

Clear liquid...

Ok, I think I figured it out.

I gave Ana a long board for Xmas and my MIL said I had "bad intentions" (but in Spanish and louder).

So I got the "scooter" and after driving it (scootering it, whatever), the next day I found a clear liquid on the floor.

My MIL said I should take it to the dealer ASAP; only problem is that the clear liquid was brake fluid.

I think my MIL has bad intentions....

New Ride (part 2)

Ok, so the Black Chevy Malibu with the nice chrome 22's was just a rental.

BUT this one is mine!

I know this cause Ana paid for it...............I think she is trying to kill me.



Retro Black with Tan seat, 0-50 really fast and it sounds like a leaf blower.

So to the "Corns" you can have your Blue MG, I have 150 cc's of pure Italian power......made in China of course.

Mystery Mail......

How exciting!!!!!!!

So, I'm minding my own business on line when I get an email from FED EX with an official tracking number and all sorts of links and stuff.

BUT that's not the cool part; it's from someone (someone to follow) in Time Warner and it's from Hollywood!!!!!!

Well y'all might know that I am kinda of famous (in my own little world) and have been on the "TODAY" show several times, so I'm thinking; YES, this is it Fame & Fortune.

Now after gathering myself, I looked at the email closer and the someone who sent it was "Hollie Stenson"

Hollie Stenson, thee Hollie Stenson , Famous Actress?

OMG; I'm being offered the part as the handsome lead in a new featured film.

Ok, so I haven't slept for the last 2 days awaiting the offer and today it arrived.

With trembling hands, I took the envelope and re read the:

From
Hollie Stenson
WB International Television
111 N. Hollywood Way
Business Development
Burbank, CA 91505

Could it be true that yours truly was HOLLYWOOD bound?







NOPE!

It was a check for 50 bucks for my gardener.

True Story....

Twins (the final episode).

When we last left our dynamic duo, the "husband" had jut walked in........

Now up to this point I wasthisclose to weaseling my way out of the listing and that's when Hubby shows up.

We looked at each other for what seemed a lifetime....

You know, like in those romantic comedies where no one dies at the end?

Well with a sudden realization I jumped up, ran to him and gave him a BIG HUG....but in a Manly way.......

All of my planning to get out of the listing ended at that moment as we both realized we were "Cavaliers"....but in a Manly way.

In short, I had gone to high school with the dude and even done business with him in my previous business life (that business life could be a bad B picture).

So after traveling for miles and through what felt like a dozen time zones to get to the listing appointment, if I would have known it was him.....I would have phoned it in!!!!

Big world, small town....

BTW; anyone want a nice 4/3 with a pool in East Naples?