Twins (part 2)

Now we all know that Remax colors are Red/White/Blue (very patriotic) and when Erica showed up she was wearing the brand; red sweater/white tee/blue jeans problem was........so was I.

We looked like twins, only I'm a lot older, hairier and uglier.


This could have turned into one of those bitter "Prom night" cat fights but since we're Family I just laughed at her.

Well we decided that this was going to be part of our ice breaker when we met these brand new customers (we had NEVER met these folks) and we would use it to our advantage..........to get out of the listing.

We had also decided that since this listing was in East Naples (west kendall) we would present ourselves in a....how should I say this....less then flattering light, and refer the customer to another agent.

I mean this place is so far west that we had to stop at a previous customers home on the way and pick up supplies; hell Lewis and Clark did not go this far west.

Well we finally made it out west; we're laying it on thick as to how bad the comps were, that it would be difficult to sell, all the short sales in the hood, how the previous agent had done everything right; so I had her going in a different direction................and that's when the husband came home and EVERYTHING changed.


That's when I REALLY knew I was screwed!


To be continued......

Twins (part one)

Ok, so yesterday Erica asked me to join her on a listing appointment and being the "Muscle" in this operation I said "sure".

She then let me know that the appointment was at 6:30pm in....................West Kendall.

Now for those who know me, I have a special fondness for West Kendall, as I once occupied a home in this portion of the Everglades.

True story;
When I first met my wife she told me she lived in "Lakes of the Meadows" and that it was located in Kendall; she said this with great pride and since our relationship started with some nasty words (a classic story), I felt that I should not say anything bad............

But I couldn't, so I did and this is what I said.

"You live in the @$%^ Glades, watch when it rains (and it will) you will have walking catfish in your yard"

She said I was full of "CA CA" and that I did not know anything.......

Well it rained as it does every summer day at 2pm and sure enough out came the catfish.
Never questioned me again.

Now where was I?

Yeah, listing appointment in West Kendall....I should have known I was screwed when Erica showed up for the appointment.

To be continued.

New look, same Blog....

Well that sounds a bit lame.....

Ok, I made a conscious decision to change a couple of things on this blog.

I originally intended to do some local Real Estate "Stats" and updates but over the last couple of years it morphed into a personal look at my job as a Realtor and Native of this great town known to me as Mee-Am-Mi.....

And you know what, I like it better this way.

I have always felt that you must be true to yourself to be successful and when I looked at the "Stat's" side of things I remember an old football adage.....Yes I played.......well not really.,,no I really did....sort of...

But I remember the adage and it was; "stats are for losers" so I say @#$%^ the "stats" let's just have fun.

Oh yeah and for the changes.....

I changed the pictures and the font colors; I was good with all the rest.

Enjoy!

I Double Dog Dare You.............

OK, my manhood has been challenged!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Or at least my lack of intelligence............

Therefore I MUST do it!

Do what you ask?

Man up and break the longest running streak in Raven's Run.

Click on this link ; it's running 8 miles a 110 consecutive days (Rain or Shine...Or Hurricanes) in a row.

So Ozark, get reservations cause I love Lobster....or Loopster as I like to call it.

Anyone have any idea/thought/suggestions as to what we should run for?

BUY AMERICAN!!!!!!!!

Dig the "chrome" wheels on my new ride!?

I have a little Jay-Z banging out as I roll in this bad boy.

After all of my European cars, I forgot that Detroit does two things well...

A/C

And

Big Ass Trunks

TOURS......REALLY???

Ok, this is all wrong but I could not pass it up.

So today we were doing our Realtor thing when we came upon "2, two, dos" tour buses full of .............how.............shall I write this...oh yeah "tourist".

But not your run of the mill "tourist", these were RICH "tourist" (they were Chinese)

Now what/where do you think they were taking pictures?

Topless models on SoBe?... No

Beautiful Gardens at Viscaya?.... No

Sailboats in the Grove?.... No

How about......(and I'm not making this up), a Chinese Village..........in Coral Gables!!!!!!!!!

WTF, think they don't have this at home?

Some tour, look Ma........

I know you all have some serious coin, (you own us) but is this all you could get for your tour dough?

We have alot more to see then fake villages (that's what Disney World is for) so get off the Bus and enjoy the local flavor....Sobe???

BTW; WANT TO BUY IT???

Colts over Saints in a snoozer.....

HAHAHAHA.........

OK, I was only counting the first quarter.

Hell of a play by the corner to sit on the pattern and pick six and end it...WHO DAT!

Outside of that as a "fish fan"...no interest in the game and the commercials were lame.

Super Sunday!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And we were working our listings because we are great Realtors; NO, it's because the game starts.......whenever.

Remember this game is being played in Miami; where time is just a vague suggestion.

As in "the wedding will start at 6pm"; which we all know means maybe 7pm, maybe next week.

True story;
Went to a Episcopalian wedding which started at 5pm and being semi "oyes" we got there at 5pm and where present for a beautiful ceremony which ended...and I'm not making this up (sorry Dave) "hey where's the Bud?"

We are in the parking lot getting in the car when some REAL OYE'S showed up,
And asked "which way to the ceremony?"
And we said "it's over"
And they said "buts it's 5:30"
And we said "yeah it was at 5pm"
And they said "what, the invitation said 5pm"
And we said "yeah, 5pm"
And they said "??????"

What I'm trying to say is that when you get an appointment in Miami and they say "I'll be there at "3" make sure you get the DATE!!!!!!!!!
There are several times in a week when it's "3"................

So I'm sitting here having a drink and waiting for the commercials to start.

Colts over Saints in a snoozer.....

And where the hell is "Sunlife" stadium???

OK I Get It...........

I'm starting to see "Mr. Smith's" master plan to get rid of me.....and there is an accomplice!!!

So yesterday he asked me to run but comes up with some lame excuse (it involves some foreign nationals) that he can not start until later in the day....which means a "Night" run.

Now I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed but when I run over to his pad I have to cross a couple of major thoroughfares which are pretty scary at rush hour.

He was gleefully waiting for me and off we went, again he kept me entertained with his thorough knowledge of "what's going on in the Grove "and before I knew it it was......DARK.

I became worried but nothing happen, he was his same self...there were no "casual elbows" to the ribs, no "hey watch that curb" or "gentle nudges" into on coming traffic.

Nope all good.............

Until the end, when it all became crystal clear!!!!!!!!!!

As we neared his pad, he innocently invites me to see his garden and as we walked in who was there to greet me?

His assistant (accomplice) and after some small talk, they both bid me goodnight and wished me well.

True story;

Yesterday , I leave his place and there is some dude walking his 2 dog's and he has one of those miners lights on his head and what looks like a traffic light on his butt....this guy could land a plane on that street.

He's worried that he's going to get hit on a really small street, what about me?

Now remember that to get to "Mr Smith's" pad I have to risk my life crossing some really busy streets?

Well try this during rush hour in the DARK!!!!!!!

So his plan was to run me to death, get an alibi and then for me to become some "texting psycho snowboarders" hood ornament!!!!!!!!!

I get it now....I'm going back to the beach.

SHE'S BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No not my Mother in Law (MIL).

Remember about a year ago I dealt with a Realtor that I felt should retire?

Well they didn't heed my advice.

A simple transaction is about to get VERY complicated; keep ya posted.

Easy run my.....

Ass.....

Ok, I think Riley Smith from EWM is trying to kill me.............

Now I have to add this disclaimer; I have known Riley since....way back when.

We actually grew up together in North Grove (I was the little Cuban on Secoffee and he the little Gringo on Seminole) and he being 7 years my younger, I probably hit him over the head with a "Coconut" giving him the idea for his great blog "the Real Estate Coconut"

Well after completing my "Raven Runs", Mr. Grove Realtor invited me to do some "Riley Runs" and after a couple of easy days he said....

"Hey, why don't we do a nice 6 miler"?

Well me being a "Raven" guy I said OK.....

Now Raven runs in SoBe sand where traffic is never a concern....Ah but Riley runs in the Grove where traffic is a.....CONTACT SPORT!!!

So after risking my life just to get to his cool pad (I live a couple of blocks away) we start our run and I should have known something was up when he said "today, nice and slow old man".

We started and before I knew it we were turning into the Emergency Area of Mercy Hospital (WHAT A VIEW, Jorge Perez knows his shit) and heading back...and all I was thinking was "6 miles my ass"

Now he was keeping me entertained with his wit and knowledge of the business and all I was thinking was "6 miles my ass".

We parted ways at his home, I ran to mine and promptly pour a scotch and mapped our "6 mile run"....

Yeah, he's trying to kill me....it was closer to EIGHT, 8, OCHO......

Map here