Yes It's true.....

I’m running for Coconut Grove Village Council…..

Why you may ask?

I have been a resident of this “piece of heaven on earth” since 1965 and felt that it was time to give back to my community.

Most know me as a “casual, relax and stress free” local Realtor, others know my “feet”, some know me from my Blog and some of you might have eaten my pastries…….

But what most don’t know is my business background, in my 30+ years I have worked, managed and interacted with a diverse group of folks.

While this alone does not qualify me as a candidate, it does allow me to have a unique perspective on issues and concerns that pertain to our Village.

Please vote November 3, it will only take a few minutes and if you believe in a sustainable quality of life for our village; give my name a “tap”.

I’m ready, are you?

Jav

Not Rich............Well maybe.....

Ok: bad news, I'm not RICH......those folks from Nigeria let me down.

But never the one to stay down and since EVERYONE has my email.....

I received 3, count them three, yes TRES new offers to inherit untold fortunes from folks I've never heard of and with some seriously messed up names.

Chukas something or others (greetings)
Jennifer Bailey (dying of some disease)

AND

Mr. Glory (again from Barclay's) but now he must be serious cause he went straight into my in box and not Junk mail.

So again, I have informed my guys at "It's our money, not yours bank" to let me know when I can retire and stop selling Real Estate.

Now I know what CASH felt like................

BIG NEWS!!!!!!!!!

Outside of the fact that I am RICH; I have an announcement that should shake the very core of this town..................(I tell you in a minute).

As to why I am rich; over the last couple of days I have been contacted by and in no particular order:
Jeffrey Moloko (highly confidential)
Mr. Glory Ballack (from Barkleys)
Ken Brown (next of kin)
and this very morning I was contacted by The Honorable Daniel Dokie.........

They have offered me all sorts of CASH which will come in handy as my big announcement is...........

The check cleared and I have been acknowledged (it was in the Herald so it must be true) that I can officially run for.......

Coconut Grove Village Council (or idiot).

So Get ready kiddies, I am running for public office; more in later post.

Now I'm off to the bank to see if they have wired the funds.........

I'M RICH..HHHHHHHHH...

I'll explain tomorrow....Oh and the check cleared.....oops.

Rats, Bats and Wangters......

Rats in the attic, Bats in the belfry and Huns at the gate......and I'll get to the Wangters.

In short what I deal with at Home inspections.

As I have mentioned in my website, all homes should have an inspection and most of the time they go smooth.........yeah right; they are ALWAYS a nightmare.

Yesterday's was no exception; it was as clean of an inspections as I have done until..............RATS!!!!!!!

Rats in the attic (well hell, that's where they belong) and all parties freaked out; except your Trusty neighborhood Realtor.

See your TNR really knows about RATS because of a prior life as a Baker (yes I owned one).
In said previous life I purchased a Bakery that was REALLY infested with Mickey Mouses alter ego......I mean lots, like in the thousands......

True Story; In one day I killed 140 of the little @#$%^& , one with a broomstick.

So a couple of Rats in the attic is no big deal, Man up folks......

A couple of facts about Rats;
They can't see very well (they need glasses) that's why they run along walls.
They like meat not cheese (smell).
They can squeeze through very little holes because of their bone composition.

Why do I tell you this?

Because to get rid of the little vermin's, cover/seal all holes leading into your home (A/C pipes and Soffit vents are most common entry points).
If you do get the little guys in; buy some glue traps, place a piece of sausage (any type will do) on it and place in corners.

Next morning you will find them squirming on the trap.....then hit them with a broom!

Which leads me to the Wangters, for all of you guys that just read this and said..EWWWWWW

MAN UP........

See I told ya.....

My reasons for yesterdays BOLD prediction about that its a great time to Sell.

Here they be kiddies:

First; my buddy "Ben" says the recession is pretty much over.
Second; The NY Times has a story about the 8k tax credit about to expire.
Third; so is cheap money (interest rates).

Fourth; cause I say so.......remember I do this all day and the street is TIGHT.

Most of the properties still on the market are crap and most Buyers know this.
There is a pent up demand for buying due to reasons 1/2/3 listed above and a serious lack of homes (Buyers market....HA)

When a nice property hits the market it gets lots of looks and several competing bids (Buyers market....HA) and the Seller is getting a premium.

Now everyone who has an ounce of common sense knows that a homes appreciation is almost nil in normal markets, for all the rest of you who are in the "I am going to ride it out" mode, listen and listen closely;

RIDE OUT WHAT?

If you SERIOUSLY think that you are going to see appreciation of 30/40/50% a year on your home, better look back at history (you know history, like things that happened yesterday, not the Michael Jackson album).

So get over it; if you want to move/expand put it on the market.

Your best chance of getting a premium is now; basic economic principals are in play;

1) Tight market

2) Excess Buyers

3) Cheap Money

4) Incentives

Once 3/4 move or go bye bye then we will again see a slow down (it's going to be funny when folks think 7.5% interest rates are freaking high).

And yes for the cynics who don't agree........what's going to happen when all the interest notes come due.

Put it on the market kids, you have been warned again.........

Brother can you spare a house?

OK folks I need inventory ASAP.....

So get off the "Oh everything is going to hell" and get into the "I want to move/expand my surroundings" mode.

There are lots of folks that have made the move/expand decision and there is nothing to buy.

Lets get with it folks; call your local Real Estate Agent and list some homes......

I'm not kidding here, if you want top dollar for the next several years NOW is the time.

TRUST ME ON THIS ONE......

I told you the bottom was in April; I'm telling you now that if you are considering selling get with it.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.....

Jav could you call me, please?

Anytime I hear these sweet 6 words a day before closing, I know I'm screwed and in for another sleepless night and exciting day.

Just got back from a little R & R and as the plane was taxing I broke several FAA laws by standing up and turning my phone on........and I got what I deserved.

Beep.......V/M from hell.

Now being an experience big shot Realtor I immediately went into panic/crisis mode and started to see who I could blame..........

Not really, I got off the plane, got the car went home, poured myself a double and decided to deal with it the next day.

What was the V/M from hell?

Well it was to tell me that we were not closing on Friday and that they needed an extension of closing date. Usually this is not a big deal (pretty much happens all the time now) but when it's the third extension and the closing is already a month delayed.....then "Houston we have a problem"

But the problem Houston is that I have both the Seller and the Buyer and now I look like a complete bonehead in the minds of both parties.

So how do you handle this?

I chose the time honored path and blamed the lender.

No, I disclosed all matters to both parties and came to a positive resolution.

The Seller's did not extend (they could not) and went with a Back up offer.
The Buyer's got their deposit back and are now confident in their purchasing ability.

And the lender?
Let's just say I'm not very happy............

Going back to Mee-ma-mi.........

Well after several days, a couple of close calls and posting bail we are heading back home.

We spent the last few days in the home of the “revolution” (the American not The Beatles) and learned a lot; main thing I learned was that the Patriots walked many miles to start/defend this country.

We started our day just wandering around as we often do but being high powered executives (at least Ana) we quickly set goals and on this particular day the goal was the “Freedom Trail’.

At the beginning it looked quite simple, follow the “red brick road” and it will show/lead you through our fore fathers beginnings.

The beginnings start at a cemetery (which sounds like the ending) then leads you to another cemetery,which then of course ends in a “Memorial”
In short lots of Famous dead people but at least these folks accomplished stuff as opposed to the LA famous people Memorial…..but I digress.

At the first cemetery we saw Paul Revere’s tomb and the dude that invented Samuel Adams beer.

At the second one we saw……….haven't a clue.

Third one we saw 300 steps and a couple of almost heart attacks (obviously this was the best one).

(You know things are bad when they don’t charge admission), so when we finished climbing the 300 steps to see what our Forefathers/Patriots saw (lots of rooftops and a photo shoot) we went and ate Pizza (Very early American).

After “carbing up” we worked it off by catching a ferry and taking a nap (also very American)

Not really, we are on vacation (sort of); we got back to the B&B showered and went to eat at a cool little local hangout.

And this dinner should get its own blog entry….but I would then really digress……..

BTW while on vacation; closed a deal, set up a closing, got 2 listings, solved several problems, showed properties; in short did Real Estate.

Safe, Warm and not in Jail........

Now that we are safely off Death Island, a recap of our 2 days; it involves Real Estate (just in case the IRS is reading this) and a second degree felony……………

Day 1;
Wake up, eat breakfast, sit around, eat lunch, sit around some more and eat dinner.

Day 2;
Wake up, eat breakfast, sit around, eat lunch, sit around some more and eat dinner.

The reason we just sat around was this was the safest way to avoid death and creepy neighbors inviting you for dinner (also as I mentioned before we were in the middle of no where).

Now what you really wanted to read about is the felony, so here it is.

Well the “sitting around” was getting to us and we decided to tempt fate and since the creepy neighbors had not invited us over to their pad…………..we decided to invite ourselves over to said creepy pad.

So moving quietly thru the brush as not to alert the local authorities, snakes, bears, etc.....we came upon said pad that just happen to have its door open and being friendly SQCT folks………we went in.

We proceeded to critique the home (Real Estate), just like when I do an open house and the folks come thru and want to change everything and then as they are leaving they say in a voice just loud enough for you to hear “They want how much, what are they crazy”.

Well we did the same, but we could talk really loud cause there was NO ONE there (Felony).

It gets better; being SQCT folks, at least for a couple of days we did what all SQCT folks do…..we “Cyber Stalked” the owners and they are LOADED!!!!!!!

Plus our friends went back later and took pictures; I think “we are the people our parents warned us about”……….