No Ferry, No Socks, No Worries......

Sounds like a country song gone wrong, but truth is it was our welcome to Death Island.

After a arriving in Boston, we rented a sweet KIA (better equipped than my CLS) and got all the gerbils up and running. After a slow start and 5 hrs on the road, (thinking we could be in Paris by now) we rolled up to the small quaint coastal town better known as; SQCT.

Now in SQCT we were suppose to catch the “mail boat” as the quaint folks here call it and take a short ride to the death island; where we would promptly become “loopster food” (work with me on this food concept….it’s going somewhere).

BUT,

When we got to the Ferry/Police/Fire/Welcome center we were told in classic SQCT lingo; “Oh, you can’t get there from here” not really, we were actually told…..

What are you stupid?
Can’t you see the wind is blowing at 50 kts?
We almost rolled the mail boat, lost a rudder and where the hell are you from…..Miami?

Yeah that’s us Ms.Ferry/Police/fire/welcome center lady (actually the folks up here are very nice, not like Paris)

So like any good lost souls in the middle of nowhere; we jumped in the KIA, got the hell out of SQCT and went to another SQCT, got a room with ocean views (classic, freaking storm blowing like hell and we get a room with a view) went to dinner and caught a movie in a cool little one screen theater.

Movie?

Julia and Julie…….and yes they did kill some “loopsters”…….

Hesent, Shesent....Docent.

So that is what I am going to do when I retire from this gig, I am going to become a docent either that or a bagboy at Publix (I strive to be great).

On the plane to Bean town and then off to the small Island where TS Danny should make landfall later today.

Now you may ask, why this Island in the middle of nowhere?

Glad you asked; friends of ours routinely bid on really crappy vacation getaways and to their surprise they always win the bid……

Last time we visited, they took us to an even smaller island with no phones, TV or internet.

It’s one of those types of places that you see in bad horror movies where you scream at the characters “Don’t go are you freaking crazy…..your all going to die” but do we listen?

No.

We get to this place in BFE and sure enough, no one is on the island……not even animals; except for that one sole couple that lives in “THE HOUSE”

You know “THE HOUSE”; it’s on top of the mountain on a long secluded road with only one lane.
Yep and sure enough one of our friends just happens to “run” into them and gets us invited over for drinks……at night!

We get there and they speak some funny language like….French (can’t understand a damn thing), except Ana keeps hearing the French word for lobster (loopster)……

They are speaking and laughing and acting all coy and sexy but deep down inside I know they just want to hack us up and feed us to those loopsters……..lot’s of Loopters in this place.

Keep ya posted……

Oh and BTW; if you are looking at Real Estate in a small island in the middle of nowhere, call me quick (I hear we are invited to dinner)……

Market is getting REALLY tight……….good time to SELL (trust me on this one)

Oh, I forgot.....

Remember that little black out in New York a couple of years ago........yeah that was us.

We're in a cab and decide to get out and walk to Hotel (by central park), we stop in a little store to pick up some water.

We are about to pay when; LIGHTS OUT................

As in BLACK OUT....and the little Korean lady starts to shout and I quote....

"water back, I want water back"....

And you wonder where stereo types start?

So we gave our water back.......I was scared, they know martial arts (I saw the Karate Kid).

Well we walked over to the hotel, picked up a glass of wine, sat in the park and watch New Yorkers do what they do..........Walk.

True Story.

Guess where I'm going............

So, let me tell you a story; if you ever and I MEAN EVER WANT to cause a natural disaster (including but not limited to) hurricanes, droughts, market fluctuations or just general mishaps...........call me....I have a PHD.

Where do I begin, let's start with my;

Wedding Date............5/5/1984, the "Cinco de Mayo" is not the key, but the year 1984 is.

Our wedding was fab, 400 of our closes friends.....which Ana and I only knew about 10 (OK, her perants had a fab wedding) and our honeymoon was on a quaint little island better known as " Oh yeah, the USA just invaded it" and no Cubans allowed.

Or how about the Closing date of our home in Coconut Grove........8/24/ 1992, the year was mundane.
OH but what a special day in Miami.........a little "blow" better known as Hurricane Andrew. Close, hell we could not even find the house.

Fashion week; Paris...........1995,
Cindy, Linda and Elle (yeah baby that's what I'm talking about) and a little international incident that happens 2 minutes after we pass by said international incident......let's just say it went "BOOM" and we were stopped/interrogated at the train station.

The years become a blur and not in any particular order;

Crusie ship sinks......

Several draughts cause by my attempt at growing grass (sod, not weed) even though that's all I have in my yard.......

Cardboard Crash of 2000...

Several Birthday getta aways shorten by several "windstorms"....2003 and 2004

BUT OUR GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT WAS; October 24, 2005.........
Yes, Ana and I caused Hurricane Wilma. You have to figure that with all of the hell we had raised we would have learned not to travel during season.....So we plan a 2 week trip in LATE OCTOBER to Seattle and there is never, ever a Hurricane in late October....HAHAHAHAH as soon as we stepped on the plane, you know the story.

That was until this weekend and we have up the anty for all would be travlers............8/30/2009
As soon as I picked up the tickets, confirmed the car/hotel...in comes DANNY, who is DANNY....well click on this link.

See where DANNY is headed?
You guessed it, we'll be there.........

WTF a Hurricane in MAINE???????????????

It's been a month.......

So many stories....so little time.

I have been a bit busy trying to keep the US economy up and running but I promise to start writing ASAP.

First though, welcome Cheryl to this wacky, wonderful format......check her out at New Urban Balance.

Come back tomorrow....I'll make it worth your while.